Reply to Husband can’t set a table and doesn’t care to learn how

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Setting the table was a big deal when I was growing up, and it’s always been a priority for me to lead by example so our kids gain this life skill.

DH grew up in a family that ate standing around the kitchen, on the couch, asynchronously etc - they did not have formalized meals.  As a result, DH doesn’t know how to set a table.  When I ask him to, forks and knives are flung around, napkins haphazardly placed, no drinks etc.

It sounds small but it drives me nuts.  I’ve tried to emphasize both that this is important to me and explain how to do it, but he doesn’t seem to care.

He’s a bit absentminded in general, and loving, but not a details person.

How to deal?[/quote]
Why did you marry an idiot who doesn’t know how to set a table?[/quote]

The question should be "why did you marry an idiot who doesn't know how to set a table [b]when that is clearly a top priority for you[/b]?"[/quote]

Right? That should have been one of the early weed out dates. "Let's plan and cook a dinner together!" and then when OP learned he didn't care about tablescapes, placemats, and fork placement she should have dumped him. It's almost as if table setting wasn't that important. Why is it a deal breaker now a few kids later?[/quote]

+1000

I knew the things that were as important to me as table settings are to OP so I screened men accordingly when I dated. I knew I wanted to be with someone who liked dogs and was a responsible pet owner. I didn't need them to have their own dog (although my husband did when we started dating), but I had one and I could see how they handled it. I knew I wanted someone who valued spending time with their friends, so I saw how he handled introducing me to his, making time for his on his own, and respecting the time I spent with mine. I could go on and on but I didn't care about table settings so it's not something I noticed. However, if it is that important to OP, she should have paid attention to that before having kids with this person. If it's not that important then she should let it go. [/quote]

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