Reply to impact of Alcoholics Anonymous on marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous]My alcoholic husband, while in prison, found God and buckled down on AA (alcohol landed him there). He even started a group and lead it for a while. When he got out, he attended AA twice, sometimes 3 times a day for several months and would not stop talking about it and God to the point I was getting anxiety over it.  It's been 8 years and he is still attending AA, at least 4 times a week in the mornings and at least 2-3 at night weekly. He meets with his sponsees and sponsor consistently and is constantly on the phone with his AA people. Whenever I call, he always sends me an automatic text of "I'll call you back" and sometimes he does and sometimes he forgets. I can't recall how many times he's ignored my calls for his AA people. I always tell my friends/family that I will call them back whenever I see my husband's number pop up because I don't know if it's something important, but also because he is my spouse. I frequently feel that AA is so much more important to him than me or our marriage. Every time he gets a call about any AA related things, he runs off (ie giving someone a ride to doctor/dentist appointments, meetings, church services, etc) and whatever we're doing gets pushed to the side. This has been happening with increasing frequency.

I've supported him by attending AA with him the first year or so but had to back down because it was just too much for me. We've tried marriage counseling, but it hasn't helped because his priority is so different and our marriage/me are not in his top 3 at all. For him, it's God and then AA and he did not even mention me/marriage as the third. I don't know who he is anymore, like other spouses, he appears, to me, over the top about God and AA and associated practices. I am glad that he is sober, but it's severely impacted our marriage and home life. He has replaced God and AA for alcohol to the point that it's almost unhealthy. There needs to be a balance and I don't see it. We used to go out to dinners, movies, travel, explore the areas around us, not so much now. Now we're roommates who share a home.[/quote]

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