Reply to Is it normal not to love your elderly parent who is not abusive or mean?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Is it normal not to love your elderly parent who is not abusive or mean?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I remember reading somewhere that kids want to love their parents. They do bad things, and kids still hold on to the hope.

I don't think it's normal to not want to love your parents. My guess is that you believe that too, otherwise you wouldn't be asking here.

You might get curious about it. Why are you withholding? Are you afraid to say I love you to him for some reason? I think pp's may be on to something when they say you're afraid of being the same. Also, it's curious that you say your conversations are uninteresting, but it takes two people to have an uninteresting conversation. What about asking him to tell you about the past.

Therapy might help if you journal/try new tactics/sit with the feelings and no progress. [/quote]

He’s already told me about the past, we can’t talk about it every week. 
He also tried to tell me how he was bullied as a child and his parents didn’t protect him, but I think it’s inappropriate to tell this to one’s daughter and I don’t want to hear it. [/quote]

You are wrong. It’s not at all inappropriate to tell this to one’s daughter. [/quote]

Fine, what if I don’t want to hear it? I want to see my father as weak [/quote]

So, you are avoiding getting to know your dad because he might say something doesn’t fit with your idealized narrative about your dad?
You sound very immature. You need therapy. [/quote]

It’s not idealized anymore.
I know he dropped out of school and went back and it’s fine by me. He wasn’t some outstanding person. 
But, I don’t need to know about embarrassing moments in his life [/quote]

Was he strict growing up?

Curious because my parents were strict and fairly distant (not too uncommon in their generation). So now when they try to relate to me with personal stories and remove some of that distance it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Then I feel guilty about feeling uncomfortable or avoiding spending time with them.

I'd like to get past that but I don't know how.[/quote]

No, he was very affectionate and maybe too affectionate (nothing indecent, just idk, awkward?) 
I think he wants the same relationship as he had with us as kids (where we listened and adored him and with a lot of physical contact but also where we solve all his problems), it’s just awkward and weird. Idk what happened to the stage of friendly relationships of two or three grown adults. 
-OP [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics