Reply to Any other women quiet quitting your marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In reading these posts I see a lot of valid frustrations, but I also see a total lack of empathy for your partner’s experience.  Resentments are building and love is eroding, but the underlying view is I am entitled to more, their life is separate and better than mine.  If you are keeping score in a marriage than you are the reason for the disconnect, nothing your partner says or does will ever even the score because only one person decides what counts and the number of points on the board.   Stop thinking they are the enemy and believe they are your partner in a situation where both of you are feeling unappreciated, unheard and undervalued.   This might help you fall in love again or at least start to respect each other a little bit more.

- In most of the posts, there is an underlying belief seems to be that the spouse can fix the angst they feel about life. They don’t care if they don’t change how things are, but the issue seems like perspective on life has changed from one person while the offending spouse is holding steady hoping it will change back.   Not defending them, but when emotions lead, everyone loses. 
- Their work is seen as a vacation from the family responsibilities, not as an investment in the family.  They may feel that the current challenges are temporary and if they stay committed to the long term goals all will work out in the end.[/quote]

But quiet quitting isn't about keeping score. It's about taking care of yourself and disengaging from other people's emotional responses. [/quote]

Getting to the point of passive aggressively quiet quitting is about years of keeping score.[/quote]
You’re projecting. She isn’t passive aggressively doing anything. She’s just NOT doing things. Just because I don’t note my MILs birthday in my calendar, but a cad, ship for a gift, remind the kids to sign the card, send both ahead of time, remind DH the day of to call her etc etc isn’t being passive aggressive. It’s just… not doing all that. Your immediate jump to someone not performing domestic duties for you as “passive aggressive” and “score keeping” says more about how you treat your own spouse than OP. [/quote]

Not doing things with contempt and out of resentment implies passive aggression and keeping score, but maybe I am reading into it.  I would have to delete those calendar reminders purposely and I said nothing about domestic duties.   I was referring to the idea of purposely quiet quitting in a relationship which doesn’t have to be about domestic duties.   You can quiet quitting by working less hours or doing less at work or by not initiating sex with your spouse.  You seem to have strong opinions on my character and relationship with zero knowledge, being psychic and wrong must be awesome.[/quote]
Again, simple projection. Who said not doing things out of “contempt”? Only you. By not taking on those tasks and the emotional labour associated, she is literally “working less hours”.

Not doing something =/= passive aggressive. You are adding words and flavour to suit your narrative, but that’s not OPs. [/quote]

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