Reply to Date made snide comments about me being a trust fund baby

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Date made snide comments about me being a trust fund baby "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I ended up unblocking him and sending a text that basically echoed what was said in the 19:13 post—so thanks for that perspective. I have two dates lined up this weekend. One guy comes from an upper-class background and the other middle class , but either way I’m not bringing up my trust fund, and honestly might want to focus on just dating other wealthy guys around me from now. [b]And, I did need a break after a tough four years doing a rigorous curriculum at a top school.[/b][/quote]

Who do you think you're talking to here? Do you know how many of us on DCUM also graduated from Ivy League schools? And then either went on to work or go to grad school at another top-tier school? You are insufferable.[/quote]

That’s very nice but considering the fact that you were aiming for a career (aka more money), which I do not need, we have different perspectives.[/quote]

I think that's true, OP. Unfortunately you're going to have a difference in perspectives from many, if not most people, on these issues. It's not a qualitative judgement of you, but important information for you to absorb as you're looking for a partner. Many people have to work to support themselves, even more so when they're young. My personal feeling is that it's very difficult to develop "drive" if you don't have to. Without the necessity of paying bills, it's easy live permanently in third gear and just coast. Nothing wrong with that, unless it isolates you further from others. That's a recipe for loneliness. If working as a necessity isn't in your future, it would be useful for you to identify something you're passionate about and lean into it. This is what you'll talk to potential dates about. "I manage a bird sanctuary three days a week" is a cool topic...remember how you do or don't pay the bills is your business. But this gives people a topic about which to ask, rather than filling in the blanks of how you spend your time. [/quote]

Agreed. I would love to never have to work so enjoy that for me, but I would need to be doing SOMETHING, like what gets you up out of bed every day, and what will you talk to people about, how do you make friends and such if you are idle rich? [/quote]

I do have things I’m committed to and do and plan to go to grad school. My friends live similar lives to me, and there’s never not enough to do, going out with friends, partying, hanging out with parents, our many hobbies, we have a lot to talk about.[/quote]

That's great OP. What's hard for you to know at your age is that by mid-life, i[b]f you haven't devoted yourself to something meaningful[/b], many people hit a "what does it all mean" phase. And honestly being busy helps get you through that. Doesn't mean you have to be busy working retail or chained to a desk, but without a greater purpose, it all becomes a bit of a void. I'm seeing this among some of the Dads of our school families; guys that made a ton of money early and retired in their late 40's, now they're mid 50's and pretty aimless. They never really parented so they have no real role at home, and many are sort of lost. Lots of TV, too much drinking. A few affairs which I think developed out of sheer boredom. You're truly fortunate to have the range of options your wealth affords you. Remember that infinite options can sometimes be harder than just a few choices. Grad school is probably a great idea.[/quote]
The vast majority of people aren't devoting themselves to something meaningful. You sound jealous. [/quote]

DP but I disagree. Most people do find some way to infuse their life with meaning, whether it's through work or parenthood or relationships or their community or a hobby or something.

OP's behavior on this date isn't that different than someone who is in kind of a boring, dead-end job and, when asked what they do, just says "oh I'm in this boring dead-end job" and nothing else. That would also be a turn off for most people. When you are dating, it is so much more interesting to talk to someone who seems to care about something, whether it's their job or something else. I had a really boring job I was not passionate about in my 20s, but I also had interests and hobbies I did care about, and would have mostly talked about that on a date. I think it's particularly sad OP doesn't have that when she doesn't even have the burden of spending 40 hours a week at a job just to pay rent. She sounds directionless.

Most people have meaning in their lives.[/quote]
OP can find joy and meaning in whatever she wants. She mentions multiple hobbies and interests. It's not really your place to tell others what counts as meaningful to them. [/quote]

When it comes down to it, obviously her date did not think she was doing anything meaningful. Presumably after spending an hour with her, he picked up on the fact that she's a boring dud who lacks self awareness.

If she'd waxed on about her weekends scooping shit at the humane society and spending 3 hours a day 7 days a week at her great grandma's memory care facility, he probably wouldn't have accused her of being a lazy trust fund kid. [/quote]
Or her date was a big AH who can't handle a woman with her own money. Insecure man children don't tend to make good partners anyways, so the trash essentially took itself out. [/quote]

It’s not her own money[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics