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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. No other siblings and parents have passed on. Have shown last contact to therapist and have dealt with it in therapy. Mentioned younger because birth order seems to matter in terms of how people deal with things. Without going into too much detail, break in contact coincided with a happy event in my life. Therapist suspected that jealously was involved. [/quote] If there is a disparity in "success" in life, it can be very difficult for the one in the lesser position. For example, if you went to college and have a degree, prestigious career and make $350,000, while younger sibling works as an office admin, it can be difficult for them to always be faced with your success. If you live in an upscale, large house with a pool, and big backyard in a nice neighborhood, while they are in an old, falling apart tiny house, worried about neighborhood crime, or struggling to pay rent on a plain old apartment - it can just be hard to have all that luxury displayed in front of you. Same with your fancy $80,000 SUV paid for in cash, while they have a run down 2001 buy-here-pay-here Corolla. Maybe they are divorced or single with no good hopes on the horizon for a good partner and you married Mr. Perfect and you are both sooo in love. [b]Probably the hardest, they are struggling with infertility, or can't afford to treat it, or are 39 and running out of time, while the older sibling popped out 3 kids quite easily. [/b]Maybe they have 1 nerdy, awkward child who is challenged in school, while your kids are over-achievers, walk away with all the school awards and qualify for the state and national orchestra. Maybe you are beautiful, pretty skin, great figure and they look like a plain jane frump, always the "ugly" step-sister type compared to you, the Cinderella or Barbie older sister. Maybe they are coping with a mental health issue, depression or OCD or an eating disorder and it's a struggle to make it to Friday. While you clearly have your act together, work full time, run the PTA, train for marathons at 5am, volunteer regularly at the food pantry and have a group of gal pals from college 20 years ago that you still meet regularly for fun outings, shared family vacations - and - all the good times are posted on FaceBook. Often the older sibling takes it for granted that they are faster, more successful, did everything first and better, simply because they are 4 years older. The younger sibling isn't even on their radar and is like a pesky gnat hanging around and copying them. But to the younger sibling, they've always seen you succeed, and maybe they are in a silent competition to for once do something better than you, and watch everything you do and do well. As you level out after age 25, you are just living your busy best life, expecting them to celebrate all your happy occasions, but maybe one of these areas is just to much for them to cope with. They know they would look foolish and petty for revealing the real reason they have pulled back, so they just go quiet. Maybe it's easier for them to live their life without whatever reminder it is that you did something better than them, and that thing probably isn't on their personal horizon. It could be something about your life that you didn't even realize was something that was hard for them to embrace. Instead of hunting for clues to find proof that nothing was your fault, just step back from being all about you, and occasionally send them a card or text offering them well wishes on something you heard they did recently, or on their birthday or favorite holiday, and just say you are thinking about them.[/quote] Infertility is hard. It wasn't strictly no contact, but my dear cousin pulled back in a big way from family and many friends for a while when they were struggling with this. Skipped holiday and any other family get-togethers, no social media, etc. [/quote]
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