Reply to Belle Burden’s “Strangers”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I see this differently than a lot of other commenters and don’t necessarily judge him leaving the kids.

I was married to someone with a personality disorder and one of his favorite threats was to threaten to take the kids from me. This was despite me being the primary caregiver.

Would it be better if she was forced to lose primary custody and not see her kids half the time? I believe a child needs both parents, but there is some nuance when one parent has been the primary parent all along.

While she comes from money, she was mostly illiquid, and he was working 24-7 to support that lifestyle. I am familiar with that NY finance lifestyle and you can’t have it both ways. If you want the country house, private school and nice apartment then your husband is mostly absent unless you have generational wealthy to use. It’s not surprising he was mostly absent. I highly doubt she ever offered to return to work so he could scale back and spend time with the kids. She instead probably wanted that Colony Club membership more. Then they get divorced and it makes sense she continued on as the primary and really only true parent.

IMHO the gentlemanly thing to do wasn’t for him to leave her AND take her kids half the time while he was at it. He probably thought he was choosing the lesser of two evils.

I’ve known plenty of these NY women and they are vapid, shallow and their main priority is the lifestyle and social life. I’d be shocked if she’s not similar. [/quote]

I tend to agree with this. I also saw that he said something about not wanting the kids to have to go back-and-forth between houses.  Many children of divorce hate this aspect, and it doesn't seem unreasonable to me that a parent would give up primary custody so that they can have quality time once a month, or over the summer, especially if they are in a high-pressure job[/quote]

He chose somewhere where they didn't have their own bedrooms. Even if he'd just wanted them for a couple of weekends a month and part of the summer -- which is still barely parenting -- he couldn't have done that. [/quote]

Plenty of very wealthy people live in 2 bedroom apartments in NY. [/quote]

Are they also the parents of minor children and do they also turn one of the rooms into an office? Because if so, they are also not interested in parenting. [/quote]

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