Reply to Older TJ kids: is there regret w/college app results

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Current TJ parent, we are extremely worried. Sometimes I feel my daughter would have been better with base school.[/quote]

It depends quite a bit on what "better" means to you in this context. Better chance of admission to a top college? Better prepared for college? Better education? Better peer group? Less stressful? Better memories created? Something else?

Obviously which questions you're asking, and the answers to those questions, will vary quite a bit from student to student. For many of us TJ parents, though, there is no doubt that TJ was better (in our sense and our students' sense of "better") for our students, regardless of what happens in college and beyond.[/quote]

Everything has good and bad with it. You can't tell if your child would have had better memories, better friends, less stress, etc. because you don't know what would have happened at the base school (different friends, different influences, different boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.)

[b]Presumably, most families choosing TJ believe strongly in education and in the abilities of their kids and want the best education and educational opportunities for their kids.  You can't extract that mindset and say I only meant for it 9th-12th grades. You either believe these things or you don't.[/b] That doesn't make TJ a bad or good choice, but to question this poster and ask what did you mean by "better" is ridiculous. The option was not TJ or crap because the base school would have its own opportunities. I think the above poster makes a lot of sense when they said they wish middle school families went into the consequences of the decision with more information. For example, at info sessions, the college counselor or counseling department could discuss what college outcomes look like (both at the top and the bottom). It doesn't necessarily mean different decisions would be made but whatever decision was made would be made with more information than was previously provided.
[/quote]

Agree. I’m a current TJ parent, and this year has been especially challenging. My kid is a sophomore taking Calc BC along with several other AP classes, and the workload is just simply overwhelming with the sport commitment. She never really needed to study before TJ, but this year she does and more than last year as freshman. Even with a great amount of effort, she doesn’t always earn an A. It is a lot of effort but I am not sure it isn't 100% yet,  the process is teaching her how to study and how to push her limit. As a parent, it’s difficult to watch on a daily base, even though I know this is part of the growing process. We know many families who went to TJ and understood this going in, so it’s not a surprise, but that doesn’t make it easy.

For families considering TJ, please know that it is not an easy ride. There will be bad days and long period of frustration. You cannot expect little or mild struggle with TJ’s rigor, no matter how “smart” your child may be. It is a very humbling experience, for both students and parents. Some families may thrive in this environment, while others may not; there is no one-size-fits-all choice.[/quote]

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