Reply to Was I wrong to skip MIL birthday dinner?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The first mistake was that either FIL or DH should have discussed the upcoming birthday while you were together at Christmas. You should have made plans for a group gathering and then everyone has a 1-2 week notice. This would be the time to have input on selecting a less fancy restaurant if MIL really wanted the kids to join.

The 2nd mistake was being non-committal on whether your family would make it. If DH might have to work and you know you have dentist appointments, then on Thursday night when FIL invited you, DH should have said Friday doesn't work for us, how about we meet on Sunday for lunch?

But since DH said you would play it by ear, the 3rd mistake was once DH got tied up and you didn't feel like going without him, DH should have called them to say he has to work late, how about we meet on Sunday for lunch?

You a demonstrating to your children how to treat grandparents. It's clear you, and maybe even your DH, don't really care enough to want to make Grandma feel special on her birthday. Or else you would have already made plans and not waited until FIL called the night before. It doesn't have to be dinner at a fancy restaurant. The kids were off school all week. [b]Why didn't you plan to have them bake a cake and take the cake, flowers and a card to her house on Thursday or Friday?[/b]

That would have shown your kids how to make someone feel loved. And when they are married with kids, and it's your birthday, they would know how to plan something to make your day special.
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I think you mean why didn't OP's husband make this plan?[/quote]

There was a plan. OP didn't want to go because she can't manage her kids on her own. She declined to go to the plan made by someone else. I guess her inlaws are too intimidating and scary for a dinner.[/quote]

No, there was no plan. They were informed of what MIL wanted to do, were non-committal, DH bailed entirely and threw OP under the bus in a cowardly fashion. Her husband's entire family sucks, to be honest. Sorry, OP. [/quote]

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