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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You're looking for a diagnosis because you don't want to accept the obvious truth staring you in the eyes. Your husband cares only about his priorities and he doesn't prioritize what you care about because your opinion isn't important to him. He doesn't care that you're burnt out and overworked. I'll let you figure out what that means about any love he claims to have for you.

Some people will tell you to waste your time trying to find the right combination of incentives and heart-to-heart conversations and consequences to motivate him. But guess what? It's not going to work.

He, however, is not going to change because everything is working well for him. The kids are taken care of (by you), the house is taken care of (by you), and he is taken care of (by you). He gets sex, food, the respect bump that married men enjoy in society, and an easy life. You're the one who is suffering and that is not his problem because you are not a priority (and he probably married you fully intending for this to be the dynamic).

You have 3 options:

1. Stop doing everything extra that you do and reduce your effort level to his level. Your children and the household and everything else will suffer because he will not pick up the slack. He doesn't give a shit.

2. Make a plan to get out.

3. Accept the dynamic and let him continue to exploit you.

[/quote]

OP here. Yeah, I know you're right. It's hard to face reality, and I think that is where I am right now.

I will never met my kids suffer and I'm sure he knows that. He knows I am a completely selfless person and that I care about people, even ones I probably shouldn't care as much about.

It's in my nature to take care of everyone else first, even at the demise of myself.[/quote]

You likely have some mental illness you are dealing with, maybe anxiety or low self esteem. What was your FOB like?[/quote]

OP here. Apologies, I don't know what that acronym stands for and Google isn't helping 😅[/quote]

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