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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Act 1
A happy family, one husband, one wife and three lovely children. Child A has a holiday performance on Thursday morning and needs to wear a “green Christmas sweater, blue jeans and white sneakers” per teacher instructions. Child 2 has Christmas caroling at the old people’s home on Friday and needs a red dress and plate of cookies. Child 3 is receiving an award for a speech on Friday also, and will be needing a birthday present for friend’s party that same afternoon. Wife takes care of all of these things noiselessly, on top of regular work. She also lets husband know where to be on performance and award day.
Act 2
Husband: shows up.
Act 3
Society: why do women complain about mental labor? It’s a fiction that only exists in their hysterical imaginations and they invent tasks to do because they are hysterical.

Curtain. [/quote]

All of these things being … picking out some clothing, getting some cookies and a birthday present? That … sounds … exhausting? Is that what my takeaway is here?

At any point was there some discussion in the family? “Larla, find a green shirt. Marla, get your read dress. Darla, pick out a present on Amazon. Honey, can you pick up some snickerdoodles on the way home?”[/quote]

Right. I definitely feel like a child writing and receiving an award for a speech is capable of getting a birthday present and saying dad my show is on x day and time be there.
Alot of this mental load stuff is being a parent and the struggle is created by the need for rigid control, and refusal to delegate [/quote]

What kid is getting a birthday present? Do you allow your kids to surf your Amazon account and make their own purchases? Because most people don't want their kids to do that. [/quote]

Yes, my children are capable of saying what they want to give their friends for birthday presents. WTF. [/quote]

WTF so they can say "what" but they can't actually shop and by it. Obviously. So more work for you.[/quote]

Oh FFS, are you completely helpless?

"What do you want to get Simon for his birthday, Larlo?"

"Groot Legos!"

&lt;Internet search, find Marvel Dancing Groot Lego for $35.99 on Amazon. Click "buy now."&gt;

Damn, I'm never getting that minute of my life back. And now I'm so mentally exhausted I need a nap.

Jesus. You pathetic women.[/quote]

If it’s so easy, why didn’t dad do it?[/quote]

Because mom would criticize HOW he did it, in all likelihood. [/quote]

So what? It's dad choice if he wants to let the criticism impact him. He doesn't have to listen to it.[/quote]

Dads like that don’t give two F’s so criticizing his poor judgment or age inappropriateness or lack of safety with the kids just rolls down the narc’s back and fuels his need for control via stonewalling. [/quote]

The reason moms criticize in that situation is because she is the one who will be blamed if Larlo shows up to the concert in the wrong outfit or the gift purchased for the birthday party is totally inappropriate. Every time. People will KNOW that dad was the one who got Larlo ready for the concert or bought the inappropriate gift, but they will only judge the mom for failing to do it herself or failing to appropriately supervises her husband (everyone knows men are helpless and can't be expected to do basic things like buy kid's birthday gifts or get kids ready for a holiday concert, who does mom think she is just delegating that task and not following up to make sure it was done correctly).

Thus dads continue to shirk responsibility or half ass parenting tasks, because the only person who will ever criticize them for it is their nagging wife, and women wind up doing everything because it's usually easier to just do it yourself than to delegate the task, watch your DH fail at it, and then STILL be the one getting the scolding email from the teacher or the exasperated look from the birthday boy's parents, while DH is impervious to it because it's not directed at him. No one expects him to be a competent parent.[/quote]

Nope.

Everyone knows it’s the damn ass Dad.

When Dad shows up to a volleyball game with a a 10 yo who smashes her knee open we all know it’s Dads fault. Not the mom who was at the choir audition with the other kid.

When Dad shows up to the bday party and hangs his 6 yo from a 12’ warped wall and she falls and fractures her legs, we all know it’s the Dads fault. Not the mom who was elsewhere with the other kid.

When Dad goes to playground and doodles around with the drone whilst his 7 yo goes too fast down a big hill she’s not supposed to be on, and busts her chest falling over and onto the handle bars, we all know it’s the dads fault. Not the mom who was doing laundry in the house at 8am.

When dad drops off the kid and they are in their correct uniform, we all k ow it’s the dad’s fault.

When mom’s in a biz trip and the kid doesn’t bring a lunch to the field trip, we all know it’s the dad’s fault.

When dad lets an 8 yo buy a bunch of trash from Amazon for a bday present, we all know it’s the dad’s fault.

When dad forgets to sign up for swim lessons at 8am despite multiple verbal, digital and written reminders and the kid get shut out, we all know it’s the dads fault.

We also know the dad is a failure as a parent. And feel sorry for the kids and mother. Oh well. [/quote]

That’s a lot of projection right there. [/quote]

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