Reply to Why do parents host booze-fueled parties for underage kids?

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Reply to "Why do parents host booze-fueled parties for underage kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just wanted to say that I also think turning a blind eye IS allowing it.  [/quote]

I'm that PP, and yup, I agree. I didn't tell the parents, so they didn't know it happened.

That said, if you in the same position would have told the parents and they did whatever they would do with their child in response, leading to that whole friend group getting in trouble and being furious with your DD and cutting her out of the group, and your DD getting a rep at school as not to be trusted, do tell, how would you explain all that to your own DD?

If you read anything else I replied about this, you'd see we already knew some stuff about the older sister's behaviors, and then after the sleepover observed more of the dad's behaviors and also there were many bad choices brought to their attention about their girls, and the girls' behaviors didn't change (got worse for awhile but  DD's peer/friend did eventually get better in HS after a truly awful social media shaming (my DD wasn't involved, wasn't really friends with her anymore by then).

But going back to your judgement about it, do tell, how would you explain the importance of telling parents and truly wrecking your own DD's social circle for her at the time vs. telling your DD she did the right thing and not telling the parents?  Also, do you think your DD would ever tell you the truth about such a thing after that if you did tell and get her excommunicated?  That's really cute if you do think she would - good luck with that.  Our DD I'm sure doesn't tell us everything, but we find we know way more than most parents in our kids friend group about who is doing what. We have told another parent about something serious when we knew they had no idea and were really trying, that's been true a few times.  But if I could go back in time, I'd handle it exactly the same way.[/quote]

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