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[quote=Anonymous]My now exH used porn. I think sex is important, so I wasn’t bothered by it initially, although I found it a bit odd since I never turned him down for sex.

But, it became apparent over time that his porn-watching was changing the way he related to me sexually – using me more as a doll in some kind of play he was acting out. I felt very objectified.

Porn also really either was a cause of or a reflection of his own poor boundaries. It came out that he was watching porn at work - something that could’ve easily gotten him fired. As I began to watch him more closely, it became clear to me that he was also substance abusing, and reaching out to live women in other ways.

In itself, porn was a symptom that something was very very wrong with him. It was a symptom of how he viewed women in general– as people to be manipulated to meet his needs regardless of what was healthy or good for them. And it was a reflection of a guy who couldn’t really socialize, be honest, and get his needs met in real life.

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