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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Look up DARVO. His defensiveness is troubling if it’s constant.  And his inability to apologize.  If your son is the same then it’s more worrying. Do you feel this is a loving home or a toxic one? Just because it’s better than the one you grew up in doesn’t mean you need stay in it.  [/quote]

I looked it up. It looks like something someone does when accused of abusive behavior, like sexual assault for example.

He threw out my stock. That really sucked, but it doesn’t equate to abuse. I think how he responded was problematic.  And maybe i did not communicate my feelings on it as well as I could have, and he received it as an attack and so was unable to acknowledge what he did.  Basically DARVO.

But I wouldn’t call this abuse. It’s toxic, destructive, maladaptive behavior Probably learned from his mom. I’ve witnessed that happening. He has an issue with being unable to tolerate any perceived criticism and claims I’m constantly critical, so I always have to communicate carefully so he doesn’t take it that way.

So the question is how do I address this with my husband?[/quote]

If you are walking on eggshells in your own home then you need to take a hard look at the toxicity.  I think therapy would do you good.  [/quote]

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