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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If grandparents are local, it would be nice if they’d help in an emergency. But the notion that it’s expected for grandparents to provide ANY childcare (non-emergency) is strange to me. My kids have involved grandparents who will help out if they can (but non-local). It’s great, but they offer. We don’t assume.

My grandparents loved us, but virtually never watched us and mainly seemed more interested in talking to my parents. And it was fine! I had a good relationship with them. But the term “grand parenting” was not a thing. The grandkids were not their focus.  I see it all the time on DCUM that people expect grandparents to help them parent.  Why? If the grandparents want to do it, they’ll offer. But it shouldn’t be an expectation. [/quote]

I agree with everything you say.  It reminds me of how surprised I was when talking to a friend of mine who has four kids.  She was a SAHM with a FT nanny.  Her ILs lived about 2 miles away, and she complained frequently to me that her MIL didn't take care of the kids.  I saw her ILs pretty often at her house, and they definitely showed up for all events.  I have no idea what she expected from her MIL--babysitting?  Coming over to supplement the nanny?  I didn't want to get into it w/friend so didn't really ask.[/quote]

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