Reply to (Vacation wife) Help. Spiraling.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dear Lord this man is the (non) gift that just keeps on giving. 
I would rent the house out to somebody else, not to your ex. He doesn’t deserve that grace. You are a better person than him for even considering it, but I would set boundaries right now. [/quote]

Ya, just be careful with kids at home  Maybe an older, single woman would be fine.  Maybe she would even do some of the driving for OP in exchange for reduced rent.  [/quote]

She sounds like she's in a really good position if she wanted to hire an au pair or get a grad student who wants cheap rent in exchange for driving and helping out with the kids. [/quote]
+1
I was going to suggest dropping daycare for the youngest and getting an au pair. Alternatively, your kids are so young that what driving is necessary? I think you need to just drop all the extra activities. Honestly, that would be better for your kids and simplify things. They don’t need to be in the car to activities, car to see dad, etc. [/quote]

Yeah, the activities part seemed like an odd priority to me for a 4 and 7 year old. Playdates, trips to the park, zoo, yes -- keep doing those things. But dance lessons, soccer, or whatever? That doesn't need to be a priority for kids this young during this chaos.[/quote]

I think the 7-year-old should get at least one activity, but maybe OP can look for activities offered directly after school at school?  Those are sometimes the most fun and social. Instead of optimizing for a particular activity, optimize for convenience, but don't give up entirely on all extracurriculars.  They build confidence and give kids a sense of place and purpose. [/quote]

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