Reply to (Vacation wife) Help. Spiraling.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you need to stop thinking you can control this man. You can’t. You divorced him because he couldn’t control HIMSELF. I understand you have a vision of how he must be as a parent to allow you to be divorced and to protect your kids. Let that go. You can’t control him, you can’t control what that looks like. A man like this will get remarried, and he won’t see the kids as much anyway. He will move and he won’t see the kids as much anyway. Stop relying on someone you divorced and trying to control what you cannot control. You divorced him for a reason. Be prepared to do this alone, be prepared for him to not do things in the way you’ve decided is the very best. Let it go. You two were trapped in a toxic dynamic where he had no self control and you’re super controlling. You got out of it. For the love, stop trying to control this new situation. Let it go.[/quote]

And for what it's worth, remarriage was the best thing that happened to my alcoholic ex.  She does a pretty good job of mothering him and keeping him sober, and she was good with our kid before they moved to her home country. [/quote]

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