Reply to Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you both let your DD down. If he was angry, you should have taken her. Surely you have frozen breast milk for your toddler.[/quote]

Way to blame the victim [/quote]

The victim is the child(ren). But aside from that, the fact that dad was wrong doesn't mean mom wasn't also wrong. Lots has caused this dynamic and led up to the reactions in this moment and you can't go back in time to get therapy right then. So you have to do what's possible right then.

In the moment, my priorities would have been getting older child medical care, getting older child emotional care, and then the toddler. That's why I said take the toddler in the car because DH was failing the first two. (Skip school or whatever tomorrow if he's exhausted because that's less important than priorities 1 and 2.) OP was more comfortable blaming him than taking charge.

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Wow. OP did take charge and did get the children the care they need. The fact you are trying to twist this around and claim she did not is pretty spectacular. But sure, maybe she should have tiptoed on eggshells around her DH more effectively. So what now, [b]where does that leave OP? [/b]
Op has to accept reality that her dh cannot handle the kids in any (but ideal) circumstances. She has to do double duty. In her place, I would've brought the nursing toddler to the urgent care along with the concussed child. No, it's not a great situation, but he probably said some abusive things to a child who was already suffering. You can't erase the harm he most surely did to that child. 
[/quote][/quote]

Thank you for saying this: "Op has to accept reality that her dh cannot handle the kids in any (but ideal) circumstances." I'm the other poster who is getting jumped all over for saying the toddler should have gone too, but I strongly think that was the best of bad choices in the moment. The other posters are missing OP's contribution to the whole dynamic.[/quote]

You lose me at “OP’s contribution to this whole dynamic.” OP is not contributing to her DH being a d*ck. She is reacting to it and coping with it. She did not “contribute” to him acting that way. I’m not clear on what your overall take here is - that OP needs to walk on ever more fragile eggshells forever? or what? [/quote]
op is absolutely contributing to the bad situation through her enabling of her emotionally immature and, consequently, abusive dh. I wonder if he is also an alcoholic because his behavior is very much like that of an addict.[/quote]

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