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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is what I did - have kids young while poor. Poverty was not a detriment to my children's well-being, since we were grad students/post-docs and educated enough to prioritize our kids and be good parents.

I later become infertile in my mid-30s due to a serious disease, so for me specifically, having kids young was the ONLY option, even though I didn't know it at the time!

But we are not Americans. I think that DCUM is populated by the sort of people who cannot abide being poor for any length of time, even for some nebulous better future, or to avoid the risks of infertility later.

And indeed, lots of older women have paid for successful IVF!

So it's not a one size fits all, and we need compassion and tolerance all around to avoid judging other people's choices.
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NP.. I grew up poor.  I was not going to impose that hardship on my kids.  I had kids in my mid/late 30s, no  fertility issues. Same for DH who is six years older than I am.

I'm also an immigrant.

I would rather not have kids  than have kids being poor.  That life really sucked.

My oldest is now in college with a fully funded 529 for in state.  They don't have to worry about being able to afford college like I did. They have friends who are struggling with paying for college, and DC said how  hard their friends lives were and how fortunate they, my kids, are.  Yes, because I wasn't going to make them live through that same hardship that I had to - working my way through college.[/quote]

Why were you so poor in your 20s?   Is the country you grew up in a developing country?[/quote]

DP but this is such a clueless question in light of PP’s post above. PP says they grew up poor and had to work their way through college. Assuming they were in college in their early 20s and maybe mid-20s since it often takes longer to complete college if you’re also working throughout college, they would perhaps graduate mid 20s and then first post-college job would likely all be going toward paying off student loans. You don’t overcome poverty overnight and you don’t just magically stop being poor after finishing college or working your first post-grad job either. Many who grow up poor and then get out of poverty will also give $ to family members.[/quote]

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