Reply to Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents took out a PLUS loan in the 90s to send me to college. I would be very surprised if they contacted me asking to pay it back. So I don’t understand the vitriol against OP. This would be like if a parent paid your tuition for college and then years later came back asking for reimbursement. [/quote]

I feel for OP at the sudden expectation. [b]But what was she thinking going to a school neither she nor her family could afford.[/b] And it sounds like she spent a ton of money they couldn’t afford, not just borrowing what it would take to get a degree. That’s horribly irresponsible on all parties involved, including OP. And this is the price you pay for having made irresponsible choices. [/quote]

Again, how much did you know at 18 about what your parents could afford? My parents told me they were paying for college and (happily) they were comfortably able to do so. Was I supposed to demand my dad’s bank statement to prove he wasn’t lying? [/quote]

I definitely knew what school cost and what I was going to have to pay. And I remember lots of kids coming out of school with a ton of debt who admitted that they ignored the financial aspect of college because they just wanted to do what they wanted to do and they’d figure out money later.

And my kids know exactly what we’re paying. When their college acceptances and aid packages came in, we did a spreadsheet.

I just find it hard to believe that people are/were so naive about finances. [/quote]

Not hard to believe at all. I knew what my college cost but I had no idea how much my parents had (in income, in savings, etc) and they would never have shared that with me: they considered that information personal to them.

I went to a state school on scholarship, but if I'd gotten into the big-name private near us I am certain my mom would have insisted I go and "let them worry about the money." As it was, I did a year abroad that ended up being expensive due to exchange rates and I only know it was a strain because of some overheard comments.

It's not right or good, but it's common. [/quote]

Definitely common.  My dad and his siblings have always been weird and secretive about money- but then I think my grandfather was like that too.  My uncle was/is an attorney, but not big law, and they always lived in a nice house with good schools.  My cousins all went to private/out of state universities and no one thought anything of it.  Turns out his salary was not sufficient for their lifestyle and my aunt didn't even know that my uncle was taking out massive loans to finance their education.  Crap hit the fan, they had to sell their house and my cousins had to start paying the loans.  One of my cousins was a SAHM at that point and didn't even have her own income.  They did all recover but oof.[/quote]

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