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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
OP - I would consult your OB/GYN as soon as possible because you do appear to be dealing with Post Partum depression and perhaps an evaluation and referral to a therapist with this specialty will be a first step to helping yourself!!  A medical doctor could also judge if you  may need some medication in the future.  A therapist will be able to help you sort out your feelings and your complaints and develop a strategy for moving forward to meet your needs.

Definitely get the baby used to taking formula in a bottle as soon as you can, if you prefer not to use formula part of the time so that you can give your DH the baby to feed while  you are there to be comfortable in doing so and then so you can go out, too.  If he is to continue on his solo ride of little or no change, then let him know the cost of bringing in someone to help out weekly.  And you would choose the functions you want covered - perhaps doing dinner prep for a couple of nights and the laundry more that running the vacuum for now.   You also need to learn to let some things go for now, too. 
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I have never understood this formula argument. Or the fact that the only bonding Dads can assist with is feeding. [b]It seems to me that a lot of people posting these suggestions dont know how breastfeeding works and havent done it for an extended time. The first 12 weeks establishes supply ergo if Dad gives formula, mom still needs to pump. A pump replaces a feeding so that the supply doesnt drop. [/b]

[i]Also, feeding a bottle of formula is LITERALLY the laziest, most checked out "help". Do you see Dads staring into their babies eyes and connecting, which is what is supposed to happen? No, they prop the bottle up while they watch sports or scroll their phone. [/i]

I also get annoyed that the response to everything when complaining about your spouse and their lack of effort is to formula feed. Or give a pumped bottle. As if 10 minutes of feeding a newborn magically erases the laundry, lack of sleep, dishes piled up, grocery shopping, cleaning, etc. And taking care of basic hygiene like showering isnt self care. Neither are running errands.

Dad can babywear after mom nurses so baby naps for 1-2 hours and Mom can get a break there but that would require ACTUAL PARTICIPATION AND EFFORT. [/quote]

Maybe you don’t remember the breastfeeding days but I do.  For starters there is this incredible amount of pressure to breastfeed and not only does everyone not necessarily have the supply but it’s also during a time of a lot of change with hormones, physically recovering from birth, responsibility for raising a human and changing relationship with your SO as you handle increased responsibility.  I gave myself grace to do what made sense for me and didn’t cause undue stress so supplementing with formula was okay  or breastfeeding for less than my goal was also okay.  I look back at all the things we might need to balance and deal with while  raising kids - financial, mental health challenges for ourselves or our children, our parents health, learning challenges in school …all while wanting to have a strong marriage and good relationships with immediate family -things like breastfeeding versus formula - your kid will be fine either way.

The main thing for me personally with being able to pump was it opened up an avenue for me to get a longer stretch of sleep if DH could handle feedings, or I could have a few hours to get away and socialize outside of the home on my own, and eventually so I could go back to work.  I do think my DH did bond with the kids partially with feeding them but it was as much that it was part of routine and his time with them as well as the confidence of being the primary parent in charge early on during those timeframes when I was sleeping or went out without the baby.[/quote]

Just want to say that the pressure to breastfeed was, from day one, the thing that made my son's first few months so stressful and awful.  I was so exhausted and stressed, and barely had enough milk, and the pump wouldn't work on me well, and I was just so miserable and barely got an hour of sleep at a time.  And all that while recovering from a C-section.  Had I to do it over again, I'd say f*** the breastfeeding and just do formula.  It would have made everything so much better.  There is way too much pressure for breastfeeding, and a lot of it comes from other women (and in my cases, doctors).  OP, if it will help, then don't do it.  The vague list of benefits is not worth the negatives sometimes.[/quote]

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