Reply to Poll: What killed the sex life with your spouse?

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Reply to "Poll: What killed the sex life with your spouse?"

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[quote=Anonymous] :!: [quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.

[/quote]

Radical idea.  We don’t *need* to be anything we don’t feel comfortable being.  Men shouldn’t have to be forced to be emotionally supportive for marriages to work any more than women should be forced to have children/not have children, cook/clean, or other things.  How absurd would it be if therapy focused on the fact that men would be more enthusiastic about sex if their wives did all the housework?[/quote]

Is that not the point of this thread? Several women have posted their husbands stopped providing emotional support at some point. So, therefore sex has dried up. I've explained this to my husband multiple times that typically when dating, men "woo" a woman by taking her out on dates and then the woman reciprocates. This doesnt end once you get married. If you don't want to put in the effort to connect with me emotionally then I don't want to put in the effort to connect with you physically. I am literally telling him why he isn't getting laid, but he dismisses it as if i dont know what I'm talking about. Then later has the audacity to complain about his "needs". GMAFB. [/quote]

You have “responsive desire.”  It is critical for men to identify this trait and then avoid marriage with this kind of woman.  [/quote]

No, you completely misunderstood me. I really need the emotional connection that is established by regular conversations, showing interest about my life, date nights etc. Showing me attention by grabbing my ass does not spark an emotional connection. I didn't get married to be a glorified prostitute. [/quote]

Right, your enjoyment of, and interest in, sex is completely conditional.  You live in a world where sex is a reward for behavior that benefits you.  Which puts you much closer to a prostitute than you think.[/quote]

I'm a prostitute because I would prefer my husband to ask me how my day went? Lollll[/quote]

Your problem is that you think sex is something that women do for men, if they deserve it.[/quote]

No, it has nothing to do with that. I don't have sex with strangers. For someone to not be considered a stranger, there generally needs to be some sort of conversation going on. It has nothing to do with punishment and rewards. Go seek help troll.[/quote]

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