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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread has so many messy af women in it... If you flip the genders, you'd be screaming about how rapey he was for trying to force her into something he didn't want, and how scummy it was of him to blame her, armchair psychoanalyze her, label her an addict or a zealot or both...

Y'all need to learn to center your own agency so that when someone gives you facts you don't like about what they will/won't do in a relationship, you cut your losses and leave instead of wasting your time trying to "figure him out". He said what he said. If it's not for you, it's not for you.

It's. Not. That. Deep.[/quote]

He admitted to being an addict.[/quote]

So addicts don't get to have agency? They don't get to draw boundaries around their recovery? If they were an addict, they have to engage their addiction(s) to please you?

Him admitting to be an addict doesn't justify the wackadoodle nonsense most of the posters here keep spouting off about.[/quote]

Of course they should and can draw boundaries.  Sex addiction is particularly difficult because he isn’t planning on abstaining forever (unlike alcoholics or drug addicts who are in recovery).  It just doesn’t seem like either he or OP has really thought about what it will mean for him to be back in a sexual relationship.  Do they recommend total abstention for sex addicts?  I don’t know.  If she’s gojng to stay with him, I think she needs to get educated on this.  But this is far from a straight up “I love Jesus so I’m saving myself for marriage” scenario.  It’s messy and OP needs to decide if she’s willing to do the work to figure this all out and if his BF is actually engaging with the issues he has had, or just temporarily hiding from them.  None of us know that. [/quote]

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