Reply to I married money and regret it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ok, I’m the wife who makes $400-500k a year while my husband makes anything from $0-150k a year with his own business. I don’t get to just opt out of all mundane chores. And frankly, even with seven day a week help (which I’ve had for years), it still requires a lot of managerial work.

For example, this morning I have worked with my husband to plan out a list for the handyman and gone online to make the appointment for the handyman to come Monday for an estimate. We both need to understand the list because, while we are both currently free in the Monday time slot, we never know which one of us might have an urgent meeting — so both have to be prepared to talk to the handyman. While I was doing this, my weekend helper was getting my special needs teenager dressed, brushing her teeth and cycling the dishwasher. This afternoon my husband has to take a continuing Ed class for four hours. I will plan meals for the week and grocery shop while he does that. I sometimes outsource grocery shopping, but the truth is that I like picking out my own produce, etc. I can also pivot when the mushrooms look bad and think of another recipe I could make and get those ingredients instead. I do outsource shorter shopping lists to my Tuesday/Thursday helper that are a little more foolproof basics. My weekend helper will help me cook a couple of things, prep school lunches, prep meds for special needs kids, etc. I will then pick up my other kid’s friend and order pizza for the kids. My husband will take the friend home tonight. I don’t get to just be like “I am not going to think about household needs or food because I make all the money” and help still requires me to manage them and tell them what to do. My weekend helper will do kid laundry today while my husband does the grown up laundry tomorrow. I will be planning our summer vacation while he does that and then we both go shopping for a new refrigerator for our second kitchen in the in law suite (which we use as bonus room and office and extra kitchen). Stuff has to get done and it would absolutely be wrong for me to peace out all weekend because “my job is harder.”

If the OP works part time, she should certainly do more than her husband. But it doesn’t sound like this guy does much and money doesn’t get him off the hook entirely. It is insane to pretend I’m not rich when I make $500k most years. But it is also nutty for people to think that you can hire help at that level which opts you out of all household matters — you cannot. And I’m not the kind of mom that is over the top about anything parenting related. [/quote]

You sound exhausting given how much help you have.  What do you do?  You don't do anything in the house or care for the kids.[/quote]

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