Reply to Why do women stay after their husbands affair(s)?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Judgey McJudgers usually experience cheating but are of the “it could never happen because of x, y, z…..” so they tend to completely blindsided if they ever actually find out. [/quote]
You never know what your spouse is up to. But know I have enough self esteem not to stay with someone who cares so little for me and my children. [/quote]

That's something you were manipulated into believing from the movies and tv. Real life is much more complex than that. The person may not be the best partner but if they're good to you, they're a good father, provider, and checks off everything else on the list, you don't destroy your own home and life over it.[/quote]

It’s more like- that is what most people say and believe.  Then they are in a long marriage looking at the faces of their 8, 10 and 12 year olds, and realize if there is true remorse and change, and zero blame on you- but full responsibility-  you would do anything to protect those kids and the family they know.  Most will give it at least one chance which is why close to 65% of marriages don’t break up over an affair.  It’s really nothing like tv and the movies and it is a hard thing for a long time to work through. But, as others said, there are miserable marriages where nobody cheats and some great marriages where there was infidelity.  If you are in a 20, 30, 40+ year marriage, there will be something.  [/quote]

+1 I always said I’d be gone in a second. Everyone that knows me would think I’d be gone in a second.

It’s one of those things I now see that you truly won’t know until you actually go through it and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I surprised myself.  What you are willing to do for your kids’ best interests…you’d be surprised. Kids that have only known a happy family, childhood, parents—-ripping that apart without giving at least one chance with serious boundaries wouldn’t be wise.

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