Reply to DH walked out, I think- what do I do now?

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[quote=Anonymous]Op none of this is okay. A loving partner does not give you the silent treatment for 5 days. A loving partner does not use withdrawal as sudden absence to maintain power and destabilize yourself

It’s fine to take a walk to cool off. It’s not okay to disappear without communicating when you are supposed to help with plans for the kids. It’s not okay to berate someone for chatting with a stranger. And I don’t think it’s okay to take 1/3 of a newborns first year off in what was probably optional travel leaving his partner with a baby and toddler.

This guy resents being married and is punishing you for it. He’s not communicating his needs, just shaming you for yours. While I get why dcum thinks you’re being dramatic it’s also because into are other classic chaser/avoidant couple.  A normal person who needs to cool off does so, then comes back and talks about it. A normal person who needs a team says to their partner “hey, I can’t handle this right now. Can we talk about it later or I don’t think I can deal with this anymore, maybe you need someone else to talk with” (though a situation with a kid should be mutual), not silent treatment for 5 days.

My advice would be to become a great rock around him and prepare for divorce. Perhaps he is willing to go to therapy but doesn’t sound like it. And do not discount an affair. So get yours in order. [/quote]

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