Reply to Will I regret ending my career to stay home with ES age kids?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Will I regret ending my career to stay home with ES age kids?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My concern is if you’ll actually be happier. Life will still be busy. I’d worry that I would quit, give up the income and not be any happier.

Your problem isn’t your job. It’s that you have kids. Sorry not sorry.  [/quote]

Having kids is not a problem. In my case, my kids are my purpose and my career is a means to an end to give them the life I want them to have. [/quote]

In this case, you should quit.

There just seem to be a lot of women on forums questioning if they should quit their job. They are overwhelmed and over scheduled . The problem is kids and all the stuff you have to do for kids, especially with multiple kids. Even if you don’t work, you have to struggle to make dinner for kids and deal with transporting them to activities.

I’m just not sure that the actual job is the problem here. 
[/quote]

Here’s the thing. A lot of people make these problems for themselves. You don’t HAVE to cook a fancy meal, you don’t HAVE to have your kids in a million activities, you don’t HAVE to have a perfectly clean and orderly house. If you let some of that keeping up with TikTok parenting nonsense you can have a much easier and happier life.

You can cook dinner WITH your kids. Teach them to cook, share family stories and recipes, teach your kids to do their own laundry and how to clean. They are capable way sooner than you all think. Take them on errands and engage with them. Teach them about shopping and choosing and budgeting. All these parts of life that everyone wants to outsource are actually just parenting things. Being a parent isn’t just enjoying each other. It’s getting to know them as they evolve. It’s teaching them things that are important for life. [/quote]

I’m not OP, but I don’t completely agree.  Obviously no one needs a spotless home or three course dinners every night. But growing up in a chaotic home (that’s a pit because things pile up and nobody has adequate time to clean up) isn’t great for anyone’s mental health. I have three young kids and things are messy, but I can’t tolerate it as it builds up. It clutters my mind. And healthy meals don’t mean fancy meals - but it is important to eat healthy meals and that usually involves some cooking, planning and shopping. Our home lives used to usually involve a stay at home parent whose job it was to raise young kids, be there for the older kids outside of school hours, keep the house tidy, and cook healthy meals.

I am all for feminism, but we should be able to admit that our culture has changed with two full time working parents being the norm. There are only so many things you can do in the few hours between getting home from work and going to bed, especially with young kids bedtimes. Something has to give, whether it’s healthy meals, a reasonably tidy home, quality time with your family, a reasonable amount of after school activities, or homework help. Some of those things you can outsource if you can afford to, but most people can’t. And with the cost of outsourcing, it might not make much sense to work anymore.

Additionally, with less and less flexibility at work, it’s no wonder that many families are going to decide to have one parent opt out to be present at home. Something has to give. And it’s ultimately going to be bad for the economy when people like OP are halving their household incomes as a result.[/quote]

There’s a ton of real estate between spotless and a pit. Once you accept that you can’t have every single thing in your life the way you want it you will be much happier. Meals same every week, old school: meatloaf Monday, taco Tuesday, chicken Wednesday, pasta Thursday, Friday pizza. Maybe once in awhile swap out the meat loaf for a fish or a pork chop. One activity per kid, no travel. Y’all make your lives so much harder than it needs to be. Kids can pick up too you know. They have arms. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics