Reply to People who never reciprocate

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "People who never reciprocate "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People are missing the point here. If one person is always doing the hosting or initiating get-togethers, then the friendship is a one way street. It's not about keeping score, it's about reciprocity and making an effort to maintain and developing the friendship. Friendships are a 2 way street.[/quote]

+1 People are taking the whole "inviting me for a walk" too literally. Its just an example of showing interesting in the friendship. This is especially important in newer friendships. If one person never initiates or plans or hosts or reaches out then I would assume they are not that interested in maintaining a friendship and I should put my efforts elsewhere. [/quote]

I guess I don’t get this.  If I ask someone if they are available to take a walk during my lunch break, and they arrange their life so that they are home and available and have some kind of childcare during my lunch break, then we both put effort into getting together.  
Same thing with a party.  If people block their calendar, hire a sitter, get dressed up, and get some kind of gift, then they put some effort into going to your party and maintaining the friendship.

The only way this makes sense is if you assume that all of your friends are just sitting at home, staring blankly at the wall and waiting around for someone to invite them to do something.  
[/quote]

This. Inviting is one kind of effort. But it's not the only kind of effort. Some people are inviters/organizers and some aren't. I'm the kind of person who, if I'm invited to someone's home, will put a couple hours into making something that I know they like and accommodates their dietary restrictions. I have friends who never bring anything or who will show up with a bag of chips or something. That's fine! Just like it's also fine for someone to mostly be the sort of person who accepts plans instead of making them. It takes all kinds.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics