Reply to How/why do people have a second (or more?!?!) child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm extremely anxious and type A and I knew that if I only had one kid it would put way too much pressure on my "one perfect child."  We have three which enables me to more evenly distribute my neuroses among them rather than piling it all on one kid.   [/quote]

Yes, I hear so many people say, "With one, we can devote all of our love, time, resources, money, etc. to this one child ..." and I hear that and think, "Eesh, that's a reason to have another right there!!!"[/quote]

I think people who say this tend to be people who just want less stress. Like they are the opposite of the Type A moms upthread who felt they needed to have 3 kids to spread their intensity around. They are not Type A and will feel burdened by the demands of multiple kids so prefer an only because it's easier to meet the needs of an only and still have something left over.

IME people who are confidently one and done tend to know themselves quite well and have recognized their limits. Even if you don't envy their family set up, I think you should be able to appreciate their ability to know what is right for themselves.[/quote]

+1 this

I wanted a second when DD was a newborn, but my DH didn't and it broke my heart. Now, I realize he was right. We both get easily overwhelmed and have executive functioning issues. DD is autistic (low support needs) and I realize I probably am too. More than one child would be massive sensory overload for me. Sometimes I still wish we had a bigger family, but mostly, I have my dream life.[/quote]

Interestingly, I an exactly like you and this is the reason we had more than one.  When I was the only source of entertainment/emotional connection/stimulation for my oldest, I felt constantly overwhelmed and on sensory overload. Having two spreads that burden. I think one kid is just too intense. But I certainly understand your perspective.[/quote]

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