Reply to Divorced with kids and GF wants to spend more time together

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yeah, gotta agree that the kids come first.
It seems, though, that if you're flying to places for tournaments that they aren't that young at all. So, maybe 3-5 years before they are out of the nest and off to college?
Can she wait that long for more time with you?[/quote]

OP here. My son is 15. He is a sophomore in HS. I'll also add that he is taking advanced classes and I have to help him with his academic as well. My daughter is 13. So my son will go to college in 2 years and my daughter in 5.

Can she wait? That's a tough question. Frankly I am not sure if it's even to ask her that.

I won't be upset if she breaks up with me. As I have said I will understand. I just can't have that additional time.

If we are still together at our 1 year mark, I'll introduce her to my kids. I already told them about her and they want to meet her, but I told them soon. [/quote]

I have a 13 and 15yo as well as one in elementary. Both teens are very busy and do require lots of driving. Your ex can use uber or get a driver. I don’t think you need to be responsible for all.

But the gf doesn’t sound like a good fit. We know a widower who dated someone in their mid and then late thirties who always wanted more. She became a friend/babysitter/driver and it seemed fine. She wanted kids and marriage and he didn’t. [b]The woman will always want more[/b]. If she is a catch, she can get better than what you can offer her.

We are probably around the same age and a single mom would be more understanding and likely a better match unless this woman really loves you and can wait.[/quote]

This. 100% true. I don't think men realize how bleak their dating prospects will be once they divorce especially if they are in 40s. Divorced women in their 40s simply have more options. Namely they are less likely to come across men who ask for more time with them. And women often take a more active role in leading the relationship in the direction they want. So divorced moms who are in a serious relationship with men in their 30s very early in the relationship can smoothly set the rules of the relationship without the guy even realizing. We men tend to take a more passive role and this is why women in their 30s are just a bad match because they want what we can't offer them.[/quote]

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