Reply to Divorced with kids and GF wants to spend more time together

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you for all the comments and advice. I will provide a bit more context and information. We met by chance not on OLD. She commented on my eyes color (mix of green/blue) and that comment led us to a 1 hour chat about us. I am bi racial and everyone always ask me if I am white Puerto Rican British I have heard it all. So that's always been an icebreaker for me with people. I was not ready not looking to date when I met her. But we shared a good laugh and talk and decided to have coffee the next day. And this led to more dates and 8 months later we are now in a serious relationship. So for me it's not about dating someone younger older with kids or without kids. Dating wasn't on my radars at all and I didn't even think about the the type of women I would be interested in dating. When I told her my age she was surprised she thought I was younger. I am former DIV 2 soccer player and very much into fitness. So I keep in shape. So that's how we met.

The reasons I take my kids to their activities on my non custody days is because my ex wife is not in a good place mentally. She hasn't been for a long time. In fact our divorce wasn't the result of "bad marriage". Her psychiatrist recommended the divorce which I resisted for 2+ years. I thought I could help her but her mental issues are deeper. Anyways don't want to get too much into it. So that's the reason I am the primary parent and it's been this way since our kids were small.

She did express that she wanted me to spend more time with her. And I will be honest I didn't have the best answer at the time. She expressed that a day after I canceled one of our date last minute because my son had a calculus exam the next day and didn't tell me beforehand so I had to stay and help him because he wasn't ready with some of the topics. She understood but was disappointed understandably so.

She has been in 2 long relationships in the past one lasting 4 years and the other 5. She is beautiful woman. Of course she can find someone her age who has more time.

As I said in a couple of months when we celebrate our 1 year together I'll introduce her to my kids. And she is excited about that.

As I said in my initial post I am genuinely worried that she wants and deserves more time that I can give her. I cannot and will not break up with her because she has done nothing wrong to me. Before we meet our kids we will have a discussion and I will tell her that if she thinks this isn't working and we should break up I'll reassure her that it's okay. I just cannot take away time from my kids and their activities for her sorry. My kids are everything to me and especially with their mother not in the best place I need to be fully present for them.

Some have commented that perhaps I shouldn't date and thats a fair opinion. I have thought about that as well.  [/quote]

Why can’t you break up with her? You seem to know you don’t have the time to give her what she deserves. When you introduce her to the kids do you anticipate actually incorporating her? Like on the night you have to help your son study can she come over for a glass of wine later? Spend the night? Move in? [/quote]

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