Reply to Who holds the power in the marriage dating market?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is power over sex and power over marriage.  Women generally have power over sex until they hit their late 30s (assuming they age normally).  The issue is that women all chase the same few men.  Because those men have control over sex and consume it with reckless abandon, women complain that they can't find a man.  The problem is that they won't date men with fewer options, so they're competing in a horrible game of musical chairs to win one of the few men who are openly desirable (tall, handsome, and an earner or wealthy).

Women used to control marriage by creating a cartel around sex, but they gave up that market power in the 60s, so now men control whether they marry.  However, the mediocre men who aren't having sex can't find a wife, so the mediocre men and leftover women are choosing to be alone rather than coupling with each other.

I met DH when he and all of his friends were still single.  DH was the first of the group to propose and we were married about a year after our first date.  In the next two years, all of DH's friends, who are exactly the types DCUM would have coveted in their 20s, got married.  It was amazing to see how quickly it happened.  Of the roughly twelve guys, not one proposed to a girl in her 30s.  All were in their early-to-late 20s.

When a woman hits 30 without an engagement ring, she needs to choose whether to settle or be alone.

So, to answer:  Quality men have all the control over sex and marriage.  No one else wins in the current dating market.  [/quote]

High-value women still have control over sex and marriage.  Men of all ages still want a beautiful twenty-something who is kind, interesting, educated and comes from a good family.  None of my attractive friends from college who wanted to be engaged in their twenties had a problem finding someone.  One or two focused more on their careers and didn't approach dating seriously until their thirties, but they, too, still found their person. [/quote]

Not so sure about that.  I'm reminded of a trip to Alphabet City with a friend many years ago to meet her NYC friends.  One of them was a tall, beautiful upper-Ivy grad whose parents paid her rent while she went husband hunting in the Big Apple.  Her boyfriend at the time was a handsome enough cretin who treated her like garbage in front of all of us.  It was jarring, but she took it because she couldn't find a properly employed guy who'd stick with her.  If you know the good-looking banker crowd from those days, you know the men went through women on a weekly basis (and this was before apps!).

The dating market in these cities where the educated women outnumber the men is difficult for women.  The girl from the Alphabet City story could have gotten a great guy, but she was shooting for the top of the pyramid in a competitive market.  I'd love to know whom your friends married because my experience is that the longer a woman goes into her 30s, the worse it gets.  I can think of a number of biglaw partners in DC who settled badly because there were no men who wanted them by the time they reached the professional mountain top.  [/quote]

Sounds like SATC.[/quote]

I don’t know why she only looked at bankers. She could find a normal man making 200k [/quote]

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