Reply to Wife and I have dramatically different opinions about how much financial help should be given to adult kids

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Reply to "Wife and I have dramatically different opinions about how much financial help should be given to adult kids"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My grandmother was an immigrant at age 16 and worked as a maid and cook.  She worked her ass off so that my mom had better financial and professional opportunities.

My mother took advantage of those opportunities, did very well in school and work, and, with my father became upper middle financial class.

My parents worked very hard to support the next generation. They paid for college for all three and professional school for the two of us who went.  They also paid for all three weddings, and have helped substantially with down payments for 2 of the 3 of us.

My siblings and I all work hard at our jobs, earn a good living (plus our spouses' income), and are collectively raising 7 kids.  [b]Among the 3 of us siblings, we earn approximately $1.5-1.8 million annually.[/b]  We've been paying for our kids' college and professional school, and I assume will also provide additional financial support where helpful.

But, the key is that we are a super tight family, have high expectations of each other, and we have also had the good luck that our family members are hard-working, driven people.  Meaning that everyone is responsible and generally does their best to find a path where they can both do some good for the world and also support a family.

I don't worry about our kids becoming "spoiled" because I've known them their whole lives and that's just not who they are.  Not to say I don't worry about other things, but their becoming lazy, entitled laggards just isn't on the list. So, we'll continue to support our kids however helpful and whenever helpful.

I think my approach to this is that my family has retained what may be considered an immigrant family mindset.  Our job is to help the future generations succeed and establish themselves (whatever that may mean to them).  It's a quite multi-generational mindset.  Also, while kids may wish to take loans rather than gifts from parents, the idea of kids or family taking out loans from banks would be very unusual and based on some terrific financial deal. Otherwise, we wouldn't want family paying interest to a bank when that money could stay in the family.  This tight-knit, and mutually-reliant approach is different than some more US-based approached more focused in individualism, and I think different approaches have their benefits and drawbacks.  This approach has worked well for my extended family, though, and hasn't resulted in any failure to launch.

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Amazing! What do you all do?[/quote]

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