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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is very clear that A) very few people watch the entire video and B) people have no idea the extent of what these kids go through. We live in a very intense suburb of New York City, where the recent Chinese immigrant parents routinely beat their children, lock them outside in the cold, and withhold food from them. Yes, the perspective is that it is not as bad as what would happen if they were sent back to their ohome country so this is the price that needs to be paid for the freedom of living in America and getting a good job. But it is horrible and sad for these children and routinely once they graduate college they never speak to the parents again. Maybe that cost benefit analysis is done and the parents feel like they have saved them the hardship of having to grow up in communist China, but it is still sad, nevertheless especially when they look around to their friends and see them going to Disney World and having birthday parties.[/quote]

But there is an ocean of difference between locking your kids out in the cold and insisting that they stick with violin lessons through high school.  Laying rules for what you expect from your child is so individual to the family.

My kids might call me a tiger mom since I expect high standards.  And really don’t accept a ton of excuses.  But I know what my kids are capable of and don’t ask them to do something they cannot (for example, I have one kid who hates English and cannot write.  I expect him to learn how to write but I won’t expect him to take AP English or to crank out A+ essays).  I also don’t force them into any EC they don’t want.  But having high standards and not being happy with mediocre effort may have someone on the outside thinking I am stealing their childhood or something.  They’ll live.  And be better for it.  [/quote]

And when they go low or no contact with you someday, just remember: you’ll live.[/quote]

Obviously nobody can know what tomorrow brings.  But I am raising my children pretty much as my parents raised me with high expectations and lots of love.  My sisters and I adore our parents.  DH was raised in a similar fashion and we are close to his family. So I am not worried.[/quote]

Sure.  Lots of love provided they rise to your high expectations.  Seen this movie before.[/quote]

Having no expectations of kids is bad for them.  No, parents cannot make a kid who is tone deaf into an opera singer.  But the opera singer does not create herself with only passion - she needs structure and guidance.  Some of which is not fun.

I dont think its my job to pick my kid's path for them.  However, I do think it is my job to teach them about grit, about hard work, about setting goals.  For me, that is what "high expectations" are.  You have to learn do your best.  It is neglectful parenting not to hold your children to standards (that you know that they can meet).  
[/quote]

Such black and white thinking.  There is a whole, wonderful world between high expectations and no expectations.[/quote]

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