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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are they saying "well my kid went to Public HS and is going to Same Ivy" or are they just...sharing where their kid got it?[/quote]

This. If someone is saying "Well Larla is also going to Yale and that's without having blown 300k on private tuition" then by all means say "Congratulations but I have no regrets about private school because it was the learning environment we thought would best prepare our kids for college and beyond." Like just don't engage on the premise that private school is about getting into top colleges (especially because this is not a good reason to send kids to private schools!).

[b]But I suspect that what is actually happening is that OP knows people who are just sharing the good news of their kid getting into top schools and OP is mentally doing the math on how those kids were able to do that without spending money on private school tuition and feeling like a chump and wants to one-up these people somehow as an act of defensiveness. This is all about OP's insecurities and nothing to do with the other people. [/b]As I said, sending your kids to private just to get into highly competitive colleges is a fool's errand -- it doesn't always work out that way and it's way too much money to view as an investment in a specific outcome. You have to choose private for it's intrinsic qualities and accept that college is going to work out the way it works out -- not every kid is Ivy League material even at very competitive private HSs.[/quote]

+1[/quote]

The odds are like one in a million for two private and public parents in the same social orbit to both have same year kids admitted to Yale. OP’s hypothetical is going to be second and third tier schools with relatively large admitted pools - e.g. UVA, Michigan, Georgetown.[/quote]

This is true and I think why OP is feeling insecure. On some level I think she is disappointed in her kid's college admission outcomes and that's triggered by hearing about public school kids going to the same school. It's not that she thinks she "wasted" the money on private school. It's that her kid got into a school that is considered "second and third tier" among competitive private school families.

It's class status fear. She doesn't want to be lumped in with public school families and their great-but-not-elite college options. She wants to stay in that upper echelon and she wants her kid to stay there too. She knows kids at their private who are going to Yale and Stanford and similar. Likely some of them are real standouts and others had an "in" (legacy or donor status) that she can't replicate for her kid.

She feels she's slipping down a ladder rung and here comes some public school parent saying "oh hey look at that -- we're on the same rung!" and it is freaking. her. out.[/quote]

Oh brother! Wait until OPs kid ends up dating or even marrying the free ride URM that lives across the hall - these days this is way more the likely reality of a top 25 school vs. meeting or hanging out with the Rockefeller's as some of you all are envisioning.      At least the public school parent will have a ton of extra cash available for the wedding they will be paying 100 percent for.  (this happens all of the time now and I know of at least 3 friends in this exact situation).   So sorry to break the news to you OP - but the public school friend group is only the tip of your nightmare scenario iceberg.  But just look at the bright side, your kid could end up the next Usha Vance.[/quote]

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