Reply to What should college dc be told about our divorce? DH is cheating and leaving to pursue a relationship with his mistress.

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Reply to "What should college dc be told about our divorce? DH is cheating and leaving to pursue a relationship with his mistress."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You should have 2 concerns at this time:

1.  How to make sure your kid continues to do well in college

and

2.  How to pay for your kid's college

Hopefully you had #2 figured out before [b]you chose to uncover your husband's affair and break up the marriage instead of letting the affair smolder.  Most affairs eventually stop on their own if you just let them alone.  Now this is a much messier situation that is harder to fix.
[/b]
If you kind of got all emotional and did not really think #2 through, then you need to start thinking about it.

It is horrid, but there is most likely no legal recourse to make your husband pay for your child's college if they choose not to do it.  If you are financially set, and kid's tution is all locked in within a dedicated fully funded 529 plan, that is great!  Otherwise, you may find out your husband's priorities have waaaaaaaaaaay shifted now.

As to the substance of your question, say whatever you need to your kid to allow them to keep studying instead of getting depressed, or overly involved in this sordid affair.  You are super focused on your own feelings of being betrayed right now.  These are important, but if you can, talk them through with the therapist or something, and focus on supporting your child. [/quote]

WTF?? Way to victim blame.[/quote] I'm doing everything I can NOT to play victim and I don't want to be seen as a victim. I am really trying to put together a list of steps I need to take to protect dc and myself financially, and dc emotionally as best as possible. There's some great advice here. There are some nasty responses but I take those with a grain of salt. Random attacks from internet strangers aren't piercing my armor right now. I have bigger fish to fry. The poster you are responding to has some axe to grind for whatever reason. That's their issue, not mine. But thanks for having my back ;-)
[/quote]

Dear OP, no axe to grind.  Just reality of paying for college.  If you are a family with a fully funded 529, or if child is attending college on a full scholarship, that is one story.  If you are a family that is cash floating much of the tuition burden, unfortunately you may be up against significant obstacles.

Anyway, it sounds like your husband told your child before finals, so he means business about the divorce and is not too worried about your kid’s ability to handle the news (or does not care).

I hope it works well for you![/quote]

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