Reply to Guess inclusion isn’t viewed as favorably as haughtiness?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread is bizarre.  An awful lot of women projecting an entire personality type on the OP's PTA group.

When the only thing the OP complained about is that they don't want to be friends with her.

So if a grown woman doesn't want to be friends with everyone who wants to be friends with her, she's a shallow, cutthroat shark (and every other insult thrown out on this thread)?  [/quote]

OP didn’t say that they didn’t want to be friends with her, only that they were catty.

I also don’t really understand why you wouldn’t be friends with everyone who wants to be friends with you.  I get that how often you see someone is limited by time and personality fit and other obligations, and there might be some people you only see in group settings. But, as a grown adult, if you know that someone is looking for friends, why not be friends?  What’s up with shutting certain people out?  [/quote]

DP.

Some people are takers. They take, take and take without ever offering. It's tiresome.

I had a friend who used me as a therapist. She would whine and complain about everyone to me, but then go and be this bubbly, outgoing, happy person to her other friends whom she called "acquaintances".  The last straw was when my dad died, and she not only did not show up but never offered to help with anything. She even called me right before the funeral to vent about some nonsense. We text every now and then, but  I don't enjoy spending time with her, so I don't. I don't consider her a friend anymore.

If I notice that someone is mostly whiny and not reciprocating kindness in some way, I don't bother.[/quote]

It sounds like you were friends with that person, it didn’t go well, and you ended that relationship.  
You don’t have to maintain a close friendship with people who are obviously taking advantage of you.

But if you are at a PTA meeting, and you know someone is new in town or recently divorced or whatever and looking for friends, why not just be inclusive? 
You don’t have to be best friends, but why the cattiness and exclusivity?  [/quote]
Most of the time in ES and into MS it’s based on who the kids are friends with, and parents definitely try to manipulate this. Parents will actually request certain friends to be in class with their child. This is entitlement at its finest. If their child doesn’t like your child or doesn’t know your child, you are automatically out.[/quote]

Yeah.  And then it leads to pushing the kids to make friends with the mom queen bee’s kid and the cycle continues.

[/quote]

And you know this how? Is this what they told you?[/quote]

I saw them do it.  I was in this group for a little while.  I heard the moms talk about it and saw them striving to hang with the queen bee while socializing. 
And then I saw the kids act it out while volunteering to help with lunch and recess at the school.

I got too busy to hang out with that group when one of the moms started talking about how she had to have her house fumigated after she invited all the girls in the second grade class to a birthday party at her house.  Everyone started talking about how this family and that family were dirty.  And I absolutely saw that attitude carried over to the girls at school. The whole thing was gross.

[/quote]

Any decent person in that group should have left by now, just like you did. The idiots are the only ones left. 
Nobody is missing anything by being excluded from these groups.

And the decent people who are no longer part of the mean group are friendly and welcoming to new comers. So why do people want the choice to be part of the mean group?[/quote]

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