Reply to Adoptive parents that treat their biological child and adopted child differently

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Reply to "Adoptive parents that treat their biological child and adopted child differently"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a 15 year old thread and hopefully there have been some improvements in understanding the complex needs of adoptive children since then.

We have both and we have tried so hard to treat them equally but it may not always look that way on the surface.

They are very different people and what worked with bio DC has not worked with adopted DC.

Adopted DC has required much more help and has had many more struggles. We try to support those needs but not always successfully.

[b]Plus All adopted children have some kind of trauma. There are not many therapists who are trained in helping youth with complex adoption traumas. But there is now special training for therapists to help adoptive children and parents. [/b]

Also there are big differences between domestic (mostly open) and international adoptions (mostly closed and often interracial).  International adoptions have dramatically
Reduced. I imagine since overturning Roe v Wade that there will be many more children available for adoption domestically.

Also Many adoptees have learning differences or special needs of some kind which can require extra supports.

So I agree that parents should not treat bio and adoptive DC differently where possible - and definitely all children need to feel that they are unconditionally loved. [/quote]

All adopted kids do not have trauma.  Maybe your parenting is to play.  My child joined our family through adoption and is not my adopted child.  Your post makes me so sad for this child.  [/quote]

I disagree. Losing your biological family is inherently traumatic. This doesn’t mean adoptees can’t be healthy, happy people but the significant loss they experienced can’t be glossed over [/quote]

My DH (adopted as an infant) is rolling his eyes.  Let's see what our 2  adopted children do when I show them this thread in a few minutes.[/quote]

Again were they open, domestic and same race adoptions?

There is a ton of research that international closed multiracial adoptions tend to be more complicated.

Your holier than thou attitude towards parents who struggle to do right by their bio and adopted DC. Great your DH and children are perfectly adapted but that is not everyone’s experience. You sound tone deaf to insist it should be. [/quote]

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