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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find the idea of living in a community solely comprised of old people to be profoundly depressing.[/quote]

I thought this too till I took a tour with my parents.  It was like a mini college campus.  There were lots of activities, clubs, and social events.  The dining options were quite good.  It was not like a nursing home where people are just waiting to die. [/quote]

And IMO the most important part is that you are guaranteed a Smooth transition (in a CCRC) to the higher level of care.  Meaning, the IL living spouse can Walk (all inside) to see their spouse in higher level care.  They can even (if appropriate) take them "out and back to IL" for the day under their own supervision (if at a lower level of memory care or assisted living).  Being able to see your spouse daily is huge for both spouses wanting to stay alive and being content.

I've heard of too many friends whose parents end up at different facilities and you have to make an effort to transport them for a few hours on weekends to see each other.

Also even in the higher level care, it's more enjoyable when you likely already know some of your fellow residents from IL times.

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You just want to check, however, about the costs when one spouse moves to higher level care. The prices can change. My ILs waited too long to move into one of these places (e.g., into a a 1 or 2 BR unit) and now can’t do so as MiL does not qualify as independent living, even if they have FT help. They can’t afford to pay for one of them to be in IL and one to be in memory care.

That said, my mom thrived when she made the pivot from living alone to one of these residences. She simply needed more socialization than what she could get remaining in her house. Even the staff commented on it as that is not everyone’s experience. [/quote]

Well yes, the key is to gain admission to a CCRC while both are still in IndLiving and no signs of needing more care.  For my parents, the only added cost for more care is the extra meals.  Even if one remains in IL and one is in higher care.  Same if both are in Higher level care (although at that point they have to vacate the IL apartment). That is why they do health checks/phsyicals, and financial checks.  And why you pay a high entry fee.  In the end, it might be cheaper to do it all on your own, but the stress of managing it can be difficult.  I know friends who have one parent in one facility and the other 20 miles away.  It's a burden for their parents to see each other and they decline rapidly when that happens.  Fact is a High level great IL facility (CCRC) will keep people active, mentally involved longer than if you live alone.  So people live longer and remain in IL longer because of that.  And ultimately are happier
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MiL just didn't want to give up their all-on-one-floor downsize where they had relocated about 7 years ago. At some point prior to the move, DH asked me for my thoughts (my parents are older so BTDT) and I said that sunk costs on the downsize might eat up what could go into the upfront fee. I was less aware about both spouses needing to qualify for IL or I would have also mentioned that. [/quote]

My parents didn't want to give up their house (the one with multiples sets of stairs) they had lived in for 40+ years.  But then they mentally prepared themselves and we jumped on the opportunity when they were ready but just needed our help with the "entry fee".   And yes, typically both spouses need to be in IL when you enter.  Their analysis assumes you will be in IL for awhile before needing advanced care.  They pay about $1500/month more than if they were on just a regular ind pricing as well(That is available now, previously everyone had to be on the full Life Care---whcih I'm glad because it could end up saving us and I like that it is prepaid and we don't have to worry about future high costs).

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