Reply to Sigh. Another lonely weekend for my teen

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here again. DC still very active on sports team - on a varsity team and well integrated into the team - based on my observation of the sidelines at games but still struggles to find kids to eat with at lunch and doesn't do things on weekends IRL.  He does now have 1-2 kids he will sporadically play video games with on weekends, so that is an "improvement."  And he is certainly busy with sports practices but he never has actual social events to go to. No homecoming, no football games etc. I have absolutely hit a brick wall when I gently suggest inviting others to do things. I think he got rejected too many times and just decided to stop initiating and no one initiates with him.  But overall I think he is ok... He is still an upbeat kid and when he is home on weekends he is social with us, will ask us to watch movie or go grab food, etc.  I am really just very sad for him that he won't have had a typical high school experience of having friends.  That is something you never get back, and it's just sad.[/quote]

A lot of kids don’t have that high school experience that reads like a Hallmark movie. I hated high school.  I loved college.

We moved when my son was going into high school.   He had a very close friend K-8 and had a hard time at his new school.   His social skills are poor.   He does better with girls and adults but he always wanted a group of boys to hang around.

We are very close and I brought him with me to different activities or just plain errands.  I couldn’t stand the idea of him being alone all weekend.   It didn’t help that his sister was popular.   I remember once I had to bring her to a Friday bowling party.   I brought him because it was public and we bowled and then he went off to play games.

Luckily we had family close by so he’d hang out with his cousin who was equally awkward.   I signed him up for acting which he liked.  He liked the kids in the program but never saw them outside of class.  He played video games which he loved.   He loves music and knows everything about it so he reads a lot on the subject and listens to music.  He’s gone to concerts, once with his cousin.

I found accepting him as he is helps.   Instead of focusing on the sad think about what you can do to help out (easier said than done).  He understands that he has anxiety in crowds and prefers to alone about half the time.   [/quote]

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