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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I left my xH for my AP. I’m still with AP, but overall I’m just as unhappy as I was with xH.

One thing I learned is that no matter who you are with, there will be problems. There is no perfect person where everything will be perfect with them. You just trade one set of problems for another.

Same with the benefits. There are tradeoffs. xH was far more financially stable and had more financial prospects. AP (current H) is sexier and easier to get him to do what I want. Neither really make me happy. I’ve learned that happiness has to come from within you. [/quote]

I did not leave H for AP but I completely agree with this.[/quote]

Yup. My mom stayed with her AP and he has an entirely different set of problems than my dad does, but overall no less severe. So she's still just as unhappy and it's way less convenient for everyone else. In particular, his financial problems, might seem like not a big deal in your 40s but it sure is a very big deal in your 80s.[/quote]

This is why it is known: cheating is about what’s wrong inside an individual.  The marriage, the spouse, etc have zero to do with it.  Cheaters will continue to blame everyone else for their unhappiness and change relationships, houses, move, etc…but they are still the same miserable individuals on the inside. Rotten in their core. [/quote]

It is really not that simple. [/quote]

It really is, though. All cheaters are low-integrity, intellectually lazy, morally-bankrupt people. The rest is just a set of lies you tell to try to justify your nonsense.[/quote]
Actually, the truth is that cheaters are all around you. Some of your family, friends, community members have committed adultery. They just don't talk about it. Just like you don't hear from every third woman you meet that she's had an abortion. It's a normal human behavior. It's not a good one, but it would probably rock your black and white world to know that people you admire and respect have made mistakes too.[/quote]

No, you absolute trashcan of a human[b], it isn't "a normal human behavior". [/b]There are rapists and murderers around me, and that's the better analogy: harmful people with deep pathology that prevents them from acting like decent humans. Equating this to abortion is just nonsensical rhetoric. And cheating isn't "a mistake": it's a fscking choice. It's not an oops; you plan that, think about it, and execute.

But thanks for reinforcing PPs point that y'all are committed to the lies you tell yourselves to excuse your garbage behavior.[/quote]

It is kind of normal, and is even common.  Many people cheat at some point in their life. Doesn’t mean it’s okay, but it is something that happens in many marriages.

You appear to have intense emotions involving someone cheating on a spouse.  Comments like “trashcan of a human” and “”harmful people with deep pathology.”

In some cultures, cheating is even more common!  Men typically have a mistress.  Again, doesn’t mean it’s okay, but it can be common.

Personally, I have a problem with my spouse cheating on me, but I’m also just as bothered by other misdeeds.

I’d do some soul searching to figure out why you’re so angry and express such extreme statements. It’s not a good look and it’s likely causing you to not focus on other areas of a relationship. [/quote]

Imagine being a person who not only excuses and justifies cheating, but tells people upset by it that "it's not a good look" and they should "do some soul searching to figure out why" they're "so angry".

Disgust at cheating isn't extreme. It's appropriate.[/quote]

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