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[quote=Anonymous]I just came across this thread after an exhausting one hour, one sided  phone call with my similar mother.

It is so good (and sad) to know I’m not the only one! Gonna have to refer back.

My brother and I are the leftovers from mom’s short first marriage.

I used to chase her for attention.  I could sense her slow motion estrangement as a girl once the new stepfather came along.

As an adult, I  thought I was being a “good daughter” by constantly reaching out to her, including her in special occasions, inviting her on family trips with her grandchildren.  She rarely took us up on the offers.

I thought being a good daughter meant listening to her problems and her “take” on things all the time, mostly inappropriate parent alienation and over sharing about the divorce and very grown up situations, starting when I was a girl.

Patterns form where mom vents and kids listen, until kids realize how unhealthy it is.

I pointed this out to her and she went ballistic about ten years ago.   Now she no longer talks about other family members, but it hasn’t been replaced by anything meaningful- she just talks about herself.  Or what books she’s reading, what shows she likes, her take on politics. Once that’s over, she hangs up.

We have nothing else to talk about because she doesn’t ask. Just her spin on things.

I feel all flattened out after her phone calls. Lasts a couple days. I try not to call her.

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