Reply to This isn't normal is it?

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "This isn't normal is it?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here - the reason our therapist hasn’t indicated it was ADHD is that DD has no trouble concentrating.[b] She does great and school, comes home and immediately does her homework, has never once not studied for a test, is very organized. [/b]Not sure if that is just masking a problem or not.

Will look into the SPACE therapy. [/quote]

Is she intelligent? School may just be easy - ADHD will show up more as school gets harder. When you can do your homework easily you don’t need to command much of your executive function. Then later, you hit high school and have no study skills.[/quote]

This isn’t how ADHD works …[/quote]

Yeah it is and it’s why many high achieving girls aren’t diagnosed[/quote]

you cannot be diagnosed with a disorder if you meet literally zero of the criteria for said disorder. thank you for coming ti my ted talk. [/quote]

You seem to have misunderstood the comments. OP has ruled out ADHD based on feedback from her therapist. She should revisit that when school gets harder, if issues persist or worsen, as that is when her child would start to struggle. This is true for many girls with ADHD. And for those girls, it later becomes obvious that they were only appearing “organized” because there wasn’t much to organize in the first place. Life gets more and more complex. Don’t rule out a diagnosis forever, is the point, especially one that often goes hand in hand with other diagnoses being considered. [/quote]

OP literally said her child is very focused and organized with no academic issues. I’m not sure what else could convince people who see ADHD everywhere. It’s nonsensical. [/quote]

There are plenty of children who appear focused and organized and are later diagnosed with ADHD. Particularly high IQ kids. It’s a good thing to be aware of and know the possibility is there. Sorry if it contradicts your pet peeve[/quote]

It’s not a pet peeve - it’s just completely nonsensical. [/quote]

NP. This is true. I've seen it described as twice exceptional.

But OP, try getting your daughter up earlier so she has time to fully wake up. Also, maybe a hair appointment for her hair type and have the stylist give her advice? I'm the only curly head kid in my family (I'm 47 now), and even though my mom was a hair dresser, I was on my own trying to figure out my hair.[/quote]

Yes 2E is a thing. No, ADHD is not at all likely in a kid that gets good grades, no complaints from school about behavior, and whose mother describes them as “organized and focused” and self-managing school work. [/quote]

But in a young girl with anxiety, explosive behaviors, and trouble completing tasks like a morning sequence, it may be emergent or something to watch for. Hence the comments earlier saying to watch for it/not rule it out permanently.

Many girls are not diagnosed til high school, college or adulthood.[/quote]

Another +1 from a high achieving girl who had subtle signs but wasn't diagnosed until late twenties!  I'm not in the medical field and not qualified to guess anything about OP's daughter's potential diagnosis, I think it could be straight anxiety rather than that plus ADHD, but really want to scream this PSA from rooftops -- ADHD diagnosis in well-behaved, intelligent girls is so easily missed.  And anxiety is highly comorbid.  Please don't let the traditional understanding of ADHD deter you from getting help earlier for your daughters. For me at that age, I loved school so much (and it was easy for me), you couldn't have seen anything from academic performance, which was stellar and consistent through high school, and then excellent though with some inconsistencies through college and grad school.  But for example, mental exhaustion and annoyance around transitions, tons of daydreaming, and was generally slower than other kids at mundane tasks like packing up my school bag to go home or switch classrooms (latter more so in middle school).[/quote]

ADHD is over diagnosed exhibit 1001. [/quote]

This is such an important topic to me, I've managed to remember to check on the thread, found the thread and feel compelled to respond to this comment.  (Massive apologies to the Original OP for this apparent hijacking of her thread)

Back to the ignoramus above. 
You concluded what you wanted from my post.

Look - I have ADHD, that I'm not going to waste my time arguing with you.  I wish I didn't have it -- it makes being a working mom in a demanding job with two active little kids very difficult.

I think some people are very snide and dismissive about ADHD diagnoses because they think it's some combination of attention seeking or accomodations seeking.  If you haven't lived it, you have no idea what the impact on people is; people just want answers and a path forward -- that's what a diagnosis helps with.

Outside of my spouse and one close friend, no one knows I have ADHD. Given my own memories of my childhood, I absolutely would not have medicated as a child, and maybe 50-50 in college - the benefits would not have outweighed the costs/risks. I would not have required time and half or whatever academic accommodations either through my entire academic career.

But what I could have benefited from is intensive training and guidance in age and situationally appropriate executive function starting from mid-elementary school, and that really would have been beneficial in high school and beyond. Instead I've been "white-knuckling" life, and ensuring I do well by developing unhealthy levels of anxiety (anxiety is useful but there are healthy levels and unhealthy).  Now I take meds for both ADHD and anxiety.

In terms of what you outwardly see of what our society values as achievement, I've always been doing great -- I graduated valedictorian of my HS class, went to an Ivy league school, graduated summa cum laude with STEM double major, and completed a STEM PhD. Now, I am a mid-level manager of a large team of quantitative staff.

ADHD is not a lack of focus or ability -- I'm highly capable and I loved school and learning (almost all subjects), and I like most aspects of my job, so I've always been able to focus and excel there.  It's more so that lower than normal dopamine levels that make it hard to do things that we aren't excited about (planning the day-to-day, paying bills, doing returns, cleaning up after myself, teaching and guiding my kids to clean up after themselves, other mundane tasks, work we don't care about, etc etc).  And if we do start doing something that we like, it's easy to lose track of time and what you should be doing instead.  Even though this will sound like an oxymoron, both transitions between different tasks AND sticking with tasks through completion still remain really hard for me as an adult!

All of this leads to a really really messy house, missed bill payments, missed sign-ups for kids, a complete lack of organization in my home and work materials, complete waste of any limited unstructured time I have for myself, worry that I'm ruining my kids or at least setting bad examples for them with the amount of chaos in our physical space and lack of planning, etc.  Which unfortunately then leads to high levels of anxiety, shame, and honestly, self-loathing at times.  And this is with me knowing about my ADHD diagnosis.

If I was not referred out by the school psychologist (who had a strong feeling that it was ADHD but wasn't allowed to diagnose or treat ADHD due on college rules) to a specializing private practice psychiatrist, who then carefully assessed and confirmed that I had ADHD at age 27, I don't know what would have happened to my mental health after that as life was progressively getting more and more complex.  I am so grateful for this diagnosis - it helps me understand how my brain is different, and it is the starting point to getting what I need to function better and more confidently in the world we live in.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics