Reply to I’m breadwinner, dh asked me to help with side hustle

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will full admit that if he were the breadwinner or  even matched my salary, I wouid have zero issue being the default parent.

I am not ok with

Researching + piecing together summer camps
Doing forms and paperwork for camps 
Paying for the camps out of my money
Noticing that the kids need new shoes and 
Paying for the shoes out of my money 
[/quote]

Sorry, if these are the tasks that are just *overwhelming* you I don’t think you ARE capable of being a high school level admin for him anyway.  Seriously, researching camps takes like 10 minutes.  Filling out the forms? 10 minutes x number of kids.  “Noticing” the kids need shoes?  30 seconds?  Then ordering a size up online is another 5 minutes x number of kids x number of half sizes their feet grow per year.

So generously we’re talking maybe three hours of effort per year, and you’re whining about it.  It’s obviously just about the money.  Sorry you’re not actually RHDC the princess you thought you were going to be 8 years ago…[/quote]

Anyone who actually thinks researching camps is a 10 minute task is high, a crap parent, or has never actually looked into summer camps.

Medical forms take longer than that.

Shoes also take longer than that once a kid is over 5 and cares what kind of shoes they are wearing.

But I am guessing you know that and are just trolling. 
[/quote]

No, I have three kids ages 8-14 who have always done summer camps and gone through countless pairs of shoes.

I believe that some of you can spend infinite time on these extremely simple tasks, but that does not make the tasks inherently time-consuming.

Maybe it’s because I’m a professional research scientist, but whenever someone describes “researching” summer camps as though it’s some arduous thing it is a red flag that they are some combination of inefficient and incompetent.   I mean really, what exactly are you researching?  My research consisted of 1) what camps are available near our house, 2) what are their hours, 3) which of those have space available for the weeks we need (summer break minus our vacation week), and 4) of those still standing which ones would the kids like best?

I cannot fathom how it would take longer than 10 minutes to fill out a medical form.  I guess maybe if your kid has lots of allergies or is on a bunch of medications?

Shoes also aren’t difficult.  Stride rite for the little kids and jordans for the older ones.  My kids have big feet so we just order online.  And this will probably blow your mind, but once kids are capable of looking stuff up on the internet (elementary school) you can just have them send you a link to the shoes they want.  So there are maybe two or three years where a kid is old enough to care what shoes they’re wearing but unable to pick them out on their own.  So for those cases I’ll concede that it’s maybe a 10-15 minute task.  Happy?[/quote]

But some of us care about our kids and what they like to do and the fact that they are much happier with certain conditions (e.g. access to indoor facilities for hot days) and enjoy going to camp with friends. None of that is strictly necessary but I consider it a good use of my time to find a camp that provides specific instruction they are looking for and to coordinate which weeks they will do various camps with their friends parents. I don’t find it particularly burdensome but it’s a task on my list like a number of things that I chose to do well.

If you don’t care I can understand how you could do camp sign up extremely quickly. Like giving your kid a happy meal for dinner every night. Easy peasy, right? [/quote]

Your post made me laugh out loud. You want credit that it’s hard and takes time to research camps. You care about your children, with the implicit suggestion that the PP must not. But You acknowledge that none of that is necessary.  But don’t worry you don’t find it burdensome. Here’s your gold star, lady.

[/quote]

I am the PP you are writing back to and you are completely missing the point. The point is yes you can do anything in. 10 minutes if you are going for the easiest route. I do that for tons of things including the shoe example. But some things are worth a little more effort. For my kids being in a camp they are interested in and being with friends makes a big difference to their happiness so it’s worth a couple hours of calling around and figuring out how to get them to camps that they both like without driving across town for different drop offs.

If your kids have no preferences or you don’t think their preferences are worth more than 10 minutes or maybe you don’t even know your kids well enough to understand that they really wish they saw their friends over the summer and everyone else is in camp x but don’t complain because Mon and Dad won’t care, well you do you. But if that’s your approach to every parenting task - just do whatever makes MY life easier, I feel bad for your kids. [/quote]

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