Reply to Blended Family Expenses

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find it kind of gross that you keep differentiating between your bio kids and your stepkid the way you are, given that stepkid has lived with you full time for years without other parent being involved.  At that point, don't you view yourself as a parent with an obligation to help with college expenses the same way I bet you plan to do for your bio kids? Sounds like you are headed to another case of a stepmom who wants to conserve resources for her bio kids, step kids be damned.[/quote]

If that is the case and op should treat the step child as her own, then she and her husband need to discuss and agree on the expenses they will pay towards their college kid. The same way they would discuss and agree on how to finance their bio childrens’ when the time comes. If he is making unilateral financial decisions for HIS child without her input, that’s *the problem*. [/quote]

Therein lies the rub. If OP and her DH treated OP's stepdaughter as their own, then OP's DH would listen when she said they couldn't afford to fund a 22-year-old for two more years of full-time college. DH and I told our kids they get four years of college paid for, and then we're cutting the cord.  We expect them to do their part and graduate in 4 years, and we're not making exceptions.  That is not the case here, though. OP's DH makes unilateral decisions with marital funds. OP should leave for the factors she listed (baseless infidelity accusations, emotional abuse, the fact that her DH is effectively mooch as he relates to OP and their minor children), or if she stays, she needs firm boundaries because they simply do not have the type of romantic marriage where they can have one pot and make financial decisions based on mutual respect - her DH does whatever he damn well wants. It's up to OP to create firm boundaries, including only paying her portion of their shared expenses for each other and their mutual kids, or continue to get walked all over like a doormat. [/quote]

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