Reply to MIL and her "alone time" with DH

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "MIL and her "alone time" with DH"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I'm an adult son, husband and father.  I definitely understand the MIL's desire to have a short private visit with her son.  As long as she is not against spending time with the entire family, including her DIL and grandchild, one short period just to visit with her son is not a horrible request.  I come from a bilingual and bicultural family and whenever we visit there are times that my mother and I want to sit and visit when we don't always have to converse in English (my mother's second language) and don't always want to have to explain the customs and things we are doing.  We like to talk about people we know that my spouse doesn't know.  My wife really doesn't care that my mother's neighbor of 30 years has such-and-such problem.  Or the mother's work friend from before she retired, has a grandson who will be going to college.  Or that something significant changed aboutthe place we vacationed years before I had met my spouse.  When we are together, we try to keep our conversations to topics that are more universally interesting and that my wife will feel like a participant in the conversation rather than talking about people and places that she knows nothing about.

However, the problem here are the details of the private visit.  The MIL is making the visit an inconvenience on her DIL and grandchild.  When we visit my mother, we do stay in her house.  Both of us are night owls and we have our private visits at night after my wife and kids go to bed, so it isn't really an inconvenience for my wife and it isn't making my wife and kids inconvenienced for our visits.

If OP's MIL wants to visit with her son they need to find a way to make it less of a burden on the OP and her kids.  As people pointed out, MIL can pick up her son or OP can drop off her husband.  Also, the visit should be in the morning or evening, rather than smack in the middle of a day.  Like, they can all have dinner together and then OP's DH can drop wife and kids off after dinner, OP, can put the kids to bed and stay in and DH can visit with his mother as long as they want.  Or if she goes to bed early, then he can go over first thing in the morning and then come back to pick up his wife and kids for lunch.

So the request to have 1:1 time is not a horrible request.  Breaking up a day by taking the middle of the afternoon and leaving the family in hotel without transportation is the inconsiderate problem.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics