Reply to Lost It, Said Things I Can’t Take Back

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Haven't read everything. There is a natural desire to both rebel against and have a relationship with mom, so i don't what you said was enough for things to end for good. I endured many rounds of far worse from my mom who really was abusive and I kept going back.

That said, I do think you need to figure out why you were triggered. My teen says a lot to me that rolls off my back, but occasionally pushes a real button. (My mother installed and pushes every button she can).It helps me to explore why something upsets me.

The therapy and mental illness thing thing is often used to insult people, put them in their place. My mom used it a lot. I recall trying to respectfully address he tendency to hurl insults and she told me I was too sensitive and should "get therapy." I was not triggered. I told her I was getting therapy which I did not expect to make her EXPLODE into a paranoid rage. She wanted to know everything I said to the therapist about HER. I had started going because a college roommate and dear friend passed away and one of my kids had some struggles. She tried to demand the number of the therapist to give "her side." When we did focus on her it was mostly me just getting strategies to de-escalate and have a relationship with her without being emotionally drained.[/quote]

Had the same phenomenon with a male relative who is in the spectrum and bipolar. He devolve things into arguments and then personal attacks, and “you should see a therapist.”.

Whelp I already had $3k of a phd therapist for how to cope with them, set boundaries, protect the kids, outsource everything, and ignore them.

When I told them I already did that, he flipped out more, asked for the doctors name, wanted proof, etc. Pathetic.

Unf so many disorders are genetic. [/quote]

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