Reply to My wife thinks I need to see a therapist, I think I'm aware of my problems

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There's obviously lots of details that can't be included, but you know, I'm a modern american husband and father, and I have stress in my life. Sometimes it's overwhelming, sometimes I make parenting mistakes, etc. My own parents were not great, but I'm very aware of all that, and I've worked hard to avoid the mistakes they made—in fact, my parenting flaws, which I have, are very unlike theirs.

My wife thinks therapy would be helpful and would help me "unpack" my feelings about my parents and help me be a better father or person. I've tried therapy and I found it extremely unrewarding—I felt like I just had to have a conversation with a person I don't know, about things that I already know about and don't really enjoy talking about, and she gave me kind of milquetoast suggestions on how to handle various issues. I didn't cry or discover anything new about myself.

I understand the importance of not suppressing things, but I also think that it's important to not dwell. I'm not deeply opposed to the idea of therapy and it does seem to help some people, but I feel like I'm pretty introspective and aware. I guess I'm just wondering if maybe there's a certain KIND of therapist or style of therapy that might be more productive?[/quote]

Oh no my husband found dcum!

DH could be you. He’s busy, stressed, overall happy but aware of his issues. When I suggested therapy he brushed it off since he said he doesn’t want to dwell on the past and he has a good handle on what his problem behaviors are.

Finally, he did open up to the idea and went. He’s working with a therapist that uses (I think) cognitive behavioral therapy or something similar. Sessions are not about needlessly drudging up the past and circling the same issues repetitively but are about modifying responses to stress and actually practicing behaviors that serve him in the here and now. He goes fairly sporadically but he’s actually found it useful.

I see it like working out for him, it enhances his ability work through things as they come up and it makes him mentally stronger and more adaptable.

Going to one session is not a big deal, if you hate it you don’t have to go back. But do a little research to make sure you are going to someone who will actually be able to work for you [/quote]

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