Reply to My wife thinks I need to see a therapist, I think I'm aware of my problems

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like OP’s wife isn’t saying “your behavior is a problem and you need to fix it, consider therapy” But rather “you must’ve been messed up by your past, therefore therapy.” There are a lot of people with a lot of opinions, but what constitutes trauma and how a person should deal with it, and while I have found therapy helpful not everybody wants or needs it.[/quote]

OP here, yes, this.

I was hoping for some better explanations of the types of therapy and I did learn about CBT which does sound much more applicable to my situation, but also a lot like things I've already done and continue to do. So that's good. But I didn't really get any clearer idea why some people are so wedded to the idea of therapy, as in, the person you spill your guts to, not the concept of self-examination and self-improvement.

I'm completely bewildered by the number of people who jump to the conclusion that my wife hates me, I abuse my children, I don't want them to have a good life, I refuse to admit having any flaws or refuse to improve myself... all because I don't want to talk to a stranger about my dad.

I wonder if I should bring up freudian analysis... nobody believes that stuff anymore, right?[/quote]

There is a widespread cultural notion that long-term therapy, which means the continued uncovering of your true inner self whom you otherwise cannot understand, is a necessary part of being a fully actualized human being. I think this is nonsense. Therapy is great for giving you the tools to solve specific problems, but you should be able to go into agreeing with your therapist the condition you want to end up in (no more morning anxiety attacks, whatever) and then work towards getting there and be done therapy. [/quote]

Do you think that's perpetuated by therapists or by patients who don't want to let go of the process?[/quote]

Both! But it’s part of a broader belief that there’s some kind of secret core self that you can discover, as opposed to the self being a thing that you create over time with choices and habits. (From particular raw material, obviously, individual character is a real thing.) but I think a lot of therapists and patients alike, and a lot of people who are not personally in therapy but think it’s just dandy for everyone, have bought into this model without really realizing it.[/quote]

I was joking about Freudian analysis, but its' amazing how that has been so ingrained into our society even if nobody really practices it anymore. [/quote]

it’s kind of an interesting question whether Freud is the root of this or whether he became popular because he played into a broader obsession, I could make the case either way.

But anyway, I would try to explain it to your wife that the app you’re doing is based on cognitive behavioral therapy and you’re finding it really useful. [/quote]

She's a fan of 10% happier. She doesn't use the app but really likes the other content they produce. It just is very focused on being productive—"here's a thing you can do when you feel stressed..." instead of being, "Today, let's see if we can make you really cry thinking about something that happened when you were nine years old..."[/quote]

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