Reply to It’s shocking how many parents tell us (DINKS) we “did it right”

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Reply to "It’s shocking how many parents tell us (DINKS) we “did it right”"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is a lot of denial in this thread about the true state of things out there in parenthood land.

There are many anonymous forums where people complain bitterly about their lives as parents, there is a growing body of sociological research on the issue of regretting parenting, there is an undeniable declining birth rate, there is abundant evidence that more and more people are comfortable admitting that they don't want that choice and it is more and more acceptable to admit that.

A person can love their child tremendously and still hold the position that parenthood was a mistaken choice for them. A person who tells their child they are a mistake is profoundly flawed, possibly psychopathic. It shouldn't be difficult for a person of average intelligence to grasp this distinction.

I have no doubt that some of the people who have posted comments excoriating OP here are people who have had very dark moments of deep regret over their choice of parenthood. Like anything else in life, it is very often those who protest most who are most conflicted.
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NP, interesting point. Personally I love being a mom and have known since forever I wanted to be one. Loved the first kid so much (and have a DH who is a great dad) that I went on to have 2 more. In my darkest moments I’ve wished we had more help or more money, but I’ve never had a second of regret about having kids and that includes one with SNs.

And in turn I have no strong feelings about DINKs. If I know it’s not by choice my heart hurts for them. But I don’t go around making that assumption and I hope that they have found meaning and enjoyment in their lives. Parenthood is hard and it’s just not for everyone. Who in their right mind would want kids to be born into a family where the adults don’t want to be parents? Just to prove some sort of point about the meaning of life?

I think there is some truth that the people who are most outraged at others choosing not to have kids have some weird insecurities over their own lives. Usually what you judge/pity in others is something you’re jealous of or insecure about yourself.[/quote]

[b]Nobody is outraged by people not having kids[/b], according to OP they're blowing smoke letting OP think that they really admire their life and choices. It would be different if OP came in here upset that they were encountering all this outrage and judgment.[/quote]

Have you read this thread — there are tons of people (or maybe a couple repeat posters?) saying how much they pity people without kids and that non-parents can’t possibly have meaning in their lives. There are absolutely people on here who seem oddly triggered by child free people. I say this as a mom who loves being a mom, I think that hating on non-parents says more about you than them. People who are happy with their choices do not have strong feelings like this.[/quote]

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